Saturday, June 11, 2011

A Journey of Fear

Today I'm writing this blog more as a way to write a note to myself. I want to cry and scream and do SOMETHING! But what?
My best friend, my husband seems to be in trouble. I know I say things about him at times in my videos to be funny but this isn't funny. 
He has been my "straight man" for years now. You know, the one that laughs at my corny jokes and keeps it all in perspective but I see him laughing and trying to hide it. 
Poor man. He's had to live with me for so long. He tells me daily that no one laughs harder at my silliness than me and he's right. I met and fell in love with him because he makes me laugh. Daily. He is my light. He keeps me from spinning out of control.


Lately, he has had these spells where he coughs up blood but never says a word about it to anyone. (I see traces in the bathroom) Now bloody noses every day. His appetite isn't what it used to be, his voice is raspy, difficulty swallowing and most upsetting of all both sides of his neck have these massive lumps. The one on the left is the size of a lime! 
Finally, FINALLY,  this last Thursday he agreed to go see our family doctor. My husband never goes to the doctor and never ever complains. Ever! I stub my toe and will complain for a week. 
Our doctor was even scared. I could tell from his reactions to the symptoms.
He has a CT Scan scheduled for Tuesday. To say I am not worried is an exaggeration to say the least.
I looked on-line for signs and symptoms relating to what he is going thru and that scared me even more! I had to slam my laptop closed and cry. Michael Douglas.
His mom is 95 and in a nursing home. He is a workaholic and...
 Oh, there are so many things I could write to the good of this wonderful man but it makes me cry. I refuse to cry when he's around. 
I'm scared.
I can't even imagine his fears. The worst part is not knowing. This isn't happening to ME but I've never felt such fear.
Tuesday seems light years from now. I want to blink my eyes and have this all be a dream. Forever the optimist I pray for a good outcome.  
Dear God....

150 comments:

  1. You and your husband will be in my prayers. Try to stay strong for him and be your positive self to help him have faith. I believe that God will answer our prayers! Love you x0x0

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  2. have courage lana..
    you must be strong in order to help him.
    he needs you now more than ever.
    whatever it is, you ll fight it together.
    praying helps A LOT.. do your best and have faith.
    everything is going to be ok in the end.
    try to say this saying inside your head (not out loud)
    Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on your servant (his name)
    i wish i could help you more..

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  3. Lana, I am sorry that you and your family are going hrough this. I am saying many prayers for all of you. Remember that modern medicine is incredible. Miracles do happen! Big hugs, Stacie xo

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  4. Dear Lana,
    Like others, I am praying for God's guidance in the doctor's diagnosis/treatment, your husband's healing, your strength and God's peace for you, your husband and his family.

    Your feelings are natural concerning your dear husband. It's ok to cry, scream or whatever allows you a release for your feelings.

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  5. Lana, I will be storming the gates of Heaven for your husband. Honey, please hang in there. God is still in the miracle business. I love you!!~Marilyn

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  6. Lana ...I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this . As hard as it may be ..try to have Faith that the outcome will be something they can take care of quick. They can do so much with medicine now days. God is Good Lana and If he brings you to it ..he will get you through it . I will keep you and your husband so close in my prayers. I am here if you need me ..You know how to reach me . I love you dearly and reading this just broke my heart. I cannot imagine the fear you are feeling. I wish I was closer ....Just know I love you and will be praying . Susie ~

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  7. Lana,

    I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this difficult time. Please don't loose faith, Sweetie. God is watching over him. Your Hubby needs your love & strength more than ever now. You will both be in my heart & prayers.

    Hugs... Vickie

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  8. Dear Lana, Im so sorry that you and your husband are going though this difficult time, listen to your fellow blogging friends that love you ;) Have faith, be strong and help your husband be strong, talk to him, thats important in these difficult times.
    you and your husband are in my prayers.
    Evelyn.

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  9. This is just so sad. I've watched your videos and know how much you love your husband. You and your husband will be in my prayers and thoughts. You have so many people who will be prayer warriors for him!

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  10. Prayers going up for you and your hubby, sweet Lana!

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  11. Lana, you're in my heart and now my prayers, someone as good as you doesn't deserve this and i hope that it turns out good as soon as possible xx

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  12. It's almost 10:00.
    We went to dinner and I opened up and told him my fears.
    I fear he will be gone.
    I fear I will do or say something stupid and hurt him.
    I fear I am not as strong as I think I am.
    I fear he will not be compliant and not do whatever treatment the doctors advise him to do.
    My husband is a former athlete. A great football player and an even better basketball player. Athletes are horrible about not complaining and fighting thru the pain and getting the job done. All of that is good until they get sick. Then it is to their detriment.
    Forgive me, but writing is my therapy. My family and friends want to be in the know but I simply can not talk to anyone tonight or even tomorrow.....

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  13. Oh Lana~ 1..2..3..BREATHE~ Thank you for allowing us to comfort you during this time. Please know I am thinking of you and your husband. Perhaps some research will help but it can make you crazy with the unknown possibilities. Whatever happens, you are not alone. Dar

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  14. You and your husband will be in my thoughts. My heart and prayers go out to you both.

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  15. Oh Lana this brought tears to my face. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this for BOTH of you. I pray God gives YOU strength and your husband. I know the anxiety is the worst part and the "what ifs" are running through your head left and right and there's nothing any of us can say that will make that stop. I send my love, prayers and well wishes to your husband and you. Xoxo Sammie

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  16. for a moment i thought it was you- thank god its not but now i see you why you said your husbands your rock- i have had many art students out of the blue quit comming and when they return- one of their parents had a heath issues in 99% of the worse cases they were ok after treatment-and slowly go back to normal- lets pray what ever this is - they FIX it- i love you and shall ask god to guide all the people involved xoxo shelly

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  17. I hope and pray for the best for you and your family. Modern Medicine can do wonders and I pray to get the help and support you need.

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  18. Keeping you and your husband in my prayers!

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  19. I'm so sorry to read this heartfelt letter from you. I had tears in my eyes and I hope that your husband will be all right. I thoughts are with you and your husbands and I wish you the best of everything, and that you will get good news from the doctors. My best wishes with lots of love from Australia....

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  20. Lana,

    Sending you buckets full of love and sunshine.

    Faith xo

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  21. Oh no...I am feeling stress and sadness just from reading this..so I definitely cannot comprehend what you are feeling. I hope you get good news! Sending much LOVE and prayers to you and your family.

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  22. Lana, you're such a joy to others and now it's our turn to help you. I am sending you light, hugs and prayers for this difficult time.

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  23. Lana,

    You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers. May God grace you with peace and strength in these hard times.

    Love you Lana.

    - Mia <3

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  24. Lana,
    All my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. I just found you the other day and so look forward to your bright outlook. I pray everything goes well! You have many people that care about what happens to you and your family! Don't ever feel alone!
    Love to you
    Susan

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  25. Lana, I will pray for you and your hubby. My family has just been through finding out my hubby (my best friend and rock also)had kidney cancer. I am glad to say that even though the cancer was more advanced than we thought he is doing well and is cancer free. I understand how you feel right now, my only words to my hubby when we found out were,"Promise you won't leave me". He told me he didn't want to go. I really do understand what you are saying in your blog and will add you and your hubby to my people I pray for. God bless you Lana and your hubby as well. Lu

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  26. Hi Lana, I am sorry you guys are going through this. I am sure God will comfort both of you. When we trust Him with our troubles, He takes care of it, because He loves us.

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  27. Dear Lana,

    This prayer is for you and your husband:

    "We offer this prayer to Jesus Christ, the Divine Physician and the healer of all human ills. We come to you today to ask for your help on behalf of Lana's Husband, who seeks to be restored to good health.

    The years they have shared, and the love they have known, is precious to Lana, and her heart breaks in her helplessness. But we believe that with the Lord all things are possible.

    Comfort Lana in her distress and obtain blessings for her Husband so that he may be quickly and completely restored to health."

    Amen

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  28. Lana ...My heart hurts for you and your husband ....My heart hurts for my friend ...my friend that is scared ....I wish I could be with you if not just to hold your hand. Please know I am with you even if it is just in spirit . I love you Lana ..and it is okay to be scared and mad and hurt and all of those things .....You are one Amazing woman and you will find a way to deal with this and fight it with every breath in your body . I love you dearly .....S~

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  29. I love you.... I'm so sorry. If you need me you call anytime day or night I'll answer I promise.

    xoxo

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  30. Oh Lana how my heart sank when I read your situation and how much sadness I felt. Everyday we are surrounded by mean spirited people, bad people, people who deliberately go around hurting others or are immoral and all seems well in their world while good people like you and your dear husband and family are given this enormous test of strength and faith. Lana, I am so with you when I read that you stub your toe and complain for a week while men hide behind their fear almost - it's fear that stops them visiting their doctors which can be very detrimental as we all know. It's easy for us here to say remain positive Lana but please do. Your husband HAS TO COMPLY with medical advice because he loves you, he knows you need him and he has to do all he can to be there for you and all who know and love him. I'm so glad you opened up to him and told him your feelings, your fears. As difficult as it is to tell him he has to know and let that be another reason for him to be the model patient knowing that his beautiful wife adores him and needs him to do all he can to get well. My heart felt prayers are with you Lana, from the bottom of my heart I wish you and your husband a favourable and healthy outcome please God. I believe in the power of prayer Lana and all of us who know you through your wonderful channel love you without even meeting you and each and every one of us are praying hard for you. Be strong Lana, stay well and please be positive. Warm hugs, Leyla :)xx

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  31. missy i sent you a youtube message and want to post here to make sure you get it- know your are loved more than you can possiable imagine- you touch so many heart and souls- your a gift to the human race- it breaks my heart to know you suffer in any way- know i love you and think about you and hope pray and wish everything works out for the positive- your one a million!!! much love shelly-(magicadespell56) i wait for news hoping it is good! xoxo

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  32. Oh Lana, What a horrific thing to go through. I too had a scare the last couple of weeks. Had my annual mammogram and when they call you and tell you to come in for more pics you have to wonder, cancer? Went in for my new pics and then was told I needed an ultra sound. The ultra sound showed it was only lymph nodes, but I have to have another mammogram in six months. So it was pretty scarey. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Keep the Faith..

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  33. I know how frightened you are but I also know that with God's help, you will be able to deal with whatever comes. I am praying for your continued strength and for a definitive diagnosis. Love you!

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  34. keeping ur family in my prayers!!!!!

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  35. You sound like your marriage is a very good one so coping with the fear of losing a loved one is that much harder. I pray for you and your husband that whatever comes your way God gives you strength. Prayer is a powerful thing I totally believe all our prayers will be heard.

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  36. Sending love and prayers your way, I'm so sorry you both are going through this and hope so much relief is soon in sight. Many hugs, A

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  37. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband,hope you find out what's wrong,its the not knowing and waiting that's hard. All the best

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  38. Dear Lana,
    I am praying for you and your husband. May God place his loving arms around you both. You are such a wonderful lady and I have enjoyed watching your videos. Thinking of you today!

    Love, Madea Danko

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  39. Lana sweetheart,

    I am praying, too. This does not sound good. Please know your subscribers are standing in the gap for you and your dear husband.

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  40. Your love will keep you strong. Remember that God loves you and he is in control. No matter what happens, He will be there with you... for you and your husband. Just put your trust in Him and He will guide you through this hard time.

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  41. My prayers are with you, and God is with you, lean on him and he will give you strenght. He holds us in the palm of his hand. I pray that he will do a miracle in your husband. I pray that he guides the Doctors in whatever they do for him. You make me laugh when I watch your videos on youtube. Love you.

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  42. I know that there are really no words that can help the fear right now. I just say that both of you are in my prayers and truly hope for a good outcome. :)

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  43. Hi Lana,

    My prayers are with you, your husband and your family. Miracles will and do happen so you must remember to keep asking for them. I know he will get better as long as he wants to and believe he will be. We love you and stay strong! All the best and with love, Donna

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  44. Lana,
    You have been such an inspiration to me and so many others. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Love and Hugs

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  45. Lana, I'm praying for you and your family tonight and will continue to light a candle for you. Be strong and if needed, pray for strength for you and your husband. Don't worry about your fans and concentrate on you and your family right now. Rest assured we'll all be around when you get back. Love you and always will.

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  46. You Are Strong, Lana. Your husband could not be any luckier to have such a smart, strong, supportive and beautiful woman by his side. I can see by your vids and blogs you love that man, he knows it and knows you would do anything in your power to make him better! No regrets. I can't imagine what a beautiful life you two share together, he is one lucky man. Your love for him will help carry him through these hard times. Much love and prayers. Take care of yourself!!

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  47. be strong Lana, we love you. I will pray for you.

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  48. Lana I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through this. you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  49. Dear sweet Lana, i will pray for you and your husband, i know how much you love him, remember is at your side to keep you strong, i know you are a strong woman due to what you have gone through earlier in life, so i know you will have the strengh to get through this for your dear husband, i will say prayers for you and him, the power of prayer is strong, love you Lana, ((hugs)))

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  50. Margaret Burke TheNunaFeedsTheDucksJune 25, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    it broke my heart to see your video and see how you are suffering, I love you and think about you often. You have been a true friend to me being there for me when ever I needed you. I pray for strength to help pull you and your husband through this dark cloud, be strong my dear friend and keep that positivity you share with us Youtube friends when we feel the storm is flooding our world. God be with you both in your time of need .. Much love always, my arms are around you right now ... Margaret x x

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  51. Prayers to you Lana!!! God can work miracles Just believe !!! I will hold you up in my prayers Daily!!!!

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  52. Dear Lana,

    Sweetheart... first off, giving you some big (((((((hugs))))))) right now.

    I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your husband.
    You both are in my thoughts and prayers. God is still in the miracle business... and there is nothing too big or too small for God!!

    I love you Lana, you are the most kindest and sweetest lady ever.. and you are truly stronger than you think...

    Sending up all my thoughts and prayers for you and your husband.. and family as well during this time.

    Hugs & Kisses
    Love
    Shelley
    xXx

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  53. Lana i watched your video and my heart just broke for you and your husband. I so felt your pain and cried right along with you. May God bless you both as you make your way through this journey. Please know that I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.

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  54. Lana,
    Im terribly sorry to hear this news! Your in my thoughts and continued Prayers..your not alone Sweety..we are ALL HERE for you.. Love You..

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  55. Lana, I am praying for you & ur husband. Many prayers for you & your husband are heard by God & he will answer, give you comfort.
    You are not alone! Tuesday will come & you will meet this head on & you will both be ok-no matter what the outcome - you have each other & love. Love & Prayers- God Bless you both.

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  56. The fear in your latest video making me cry. Lana I just want to give you a hug. Sending my thoughts and prayers for you and your husband. A silent fan and subscriber from Amsterdam x

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  57. This is shocking news and breaks my heart for you. I am so sorry this has happened to you and your husband. Stay stronger then your fear. I pray for your strength. We are praying hard for you and your husband. ~ Hugs Lisa xoxo

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  58. We're praying with you Lana! I will keep your husband in my prayers.

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  59. Lana I'm so sorry to hear this. The best advice to give you is to stay strong and PLEASE let your husband see that you are NEVER giving up...that really helps them stay motivated to make a recovery no matter WHAT the prognosis are. I'm sure you've heard of miracles. I will pray for him.

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  60. i will be praying
    hugs to you
    stay strong

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  61. Lana, just give everything to God - the fear, the shock, the anxiety, the uncertainty. He will carry any burden for you if you just ask Him. He loves us and will do anything for us if we just ask. He will handle this crisis in your family in His own way, which is the only way, really.

    Much love,
    Cindy L

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  62. Lana, We love you and are praying for your husband to have a full recovery. (((angel hugs)))

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  63. We all know the feelings of anxiety about waiting for results, fear of what the future holds, fear of being alone etc. I'm so sorry you are going through this and it's ok to be scared. We're all scared. For you, your husband, ourselves. Cry when you need to, relieve that stress when you can. Praying very hard for all of you and for a good outcome. We all love you so much, though we have not met...

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  64. im confused are you married to micheal douglas?

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  65. Lana, I'm just now hearing about this and I'm so sorry... I will continue to pray for your husband and for God to give y'all strength through this most difficult time! I was watching this video in tears... I have been a emotional basket case lately that's why it took so long for me to even watch my YT videos. I have had blood work done recently cause I was at a resturant and was giving food that had blood on it but not from a animal "a human"! The person preparing my food had a cut on his thumb and he didn't know he was bleeding. So it was on the underside of my bun and I didn't even know it myself... They won't have him tested for me and now they are covering this up so I have to be tested... I have to wait for 5 days then get tested again in another 6 months. So I know that wait when involving life or death answers. So my heart truly is going out to you and your family! Dear God... I pray he has a full recovery hun!

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  66. Everyday is precious, and should never be taken for granted. The most important thing to do, no matter what obstacles you might face, is to be positive and optimistic (and always try to have a few laughs along the way too, because laughter is the cure to even to the most difficult pain).

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  67. I've long recognized the close bond and love that you and your husband have, and it's inspired me a time or two, absolutely. Try really really hard, Lana, to not let fear overtake you right now. As others have said, the power of modern medicine + prayer is quite phenomenal, so let that guide you and your husband right now. Believe that things will turn out fine. Prayers your way from me. xo Julie.

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  68. sending you all the love I can from the UK xx

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  69. We're all here to support you and your husband. Optimism is right by your side. Stay strong, you can do this!

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  70. Lana all the joy and positivity that you have sent out to us is flowing back to you now! Stay close to your man and we will continue to pray for his health to be restored. There is so much power in our prayers. Stay strong and know you are loved!

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  71. i cant say anything to make your life better, but if i could i PROMISE i would. In our prayers <3

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  72. Lana, I wish I was physically there with you to hug you and to just lend my support. Your husband and his health are in my prayers. I do believe in miracles. I have seen TOO many not to believe. Love to you and your family. Jeanie yayayyoga

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  73. I am soo sorry to heat abaut your husband Lana.

    My prayers are foryou and your love ones!

    I need to to make every single day count. Thats the best way to live your life!

    All the best wishes for Tuesday's results

    >hugs from Sanne in Denmark<

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  74. Praying for you and your family.I hope god blesses yall abundently.Stay strong and have faith.Psalm 9:9,The lord is a refuge to the oppressed,a stronghold in times of trouble.

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  75. My thoughts are with you, Lana. I know how important it is to cherish those you live while you can. I've done extreme things to do so, myself. Just remember you're strong and can get through this. It'll be hard, doubtless, but you're an amazing, strong, beautiful woman, inside and out, who can and WILL get through this! Everything will work out as it should, in the end. Just cherish the time you have now and remember all the good times when you feel at your lowest. I know it's harder than it sounds. But you've got to try. We all care about you, here. We all support you. If you do lose him, just think positive. You may have lost one great love, but gained a significant number of others.

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  76. Dear Lana,

    God bring peace and strength to both your loving and giving hearts.
    I went through the same thing with my brother-law two years ago. I will keep you both in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers. If I were there will you I would sit or walk quietly with you, loving and supporting you so you could be or feel whatever you need to cope and get through this.

    Well meaning folks will say kind hearted things and offer advise with loving intention. Having been through this with my sister what I can tell you is this: the kindest thing I did for my sister is listen without commenting or judging, sometimes just sitting quietly with her was solace to her while she wept, while she ragedand when at last hope was gone she waiting quietly for her husband to be reunited with his Maker.

    God bless your loving and aching heart.

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  77. Precious Lana,

    It is my prayer that as you walk thru this
    horrific trial that you will call out to the
    One who holds life, death and all healing.
    I pray that you truly come to know this
    awesome God as never before and learn to trust
    His plan for your life...Lana, God is taking the
    focus off the world and asking you to put it on
    Him, learning the great truths that only suffer-
    ing can produce in our lives...I am praying for
    you and your husband and am confident that as
    you cry out to Him and learn to trust in His
    perfect will for your lives everything will be
    fine...

    "No chance hath brought this ill to me;
    'Tis God's own hand, so let it be.
    He seeth what I cannot see-
    There is a need-be for each pain,
    And He one day will make it plain
    That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
    Like a piece of tapestry
    Viewed from the back appears to be
    Naught but threads tangled hopelessly;
    But in the front a picture rare
    Rewards the worker for his care,
    Proving his skill and patience rare.
    Thou art the Workman, I the frame,
    Lord, for the glory of Thy Name,
    Perfect Thine image in the same."

    Lana, praying you receive all the things God
    has for you in the trail

    Fellow sufferer for Christ

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  78. saying sorry just does not seem to be a strong enough word to hear the suffering in your voice. But strength comes from within and through your life you have gained that strength by overcoming troubles of your own. Now you have to use that strength and redirect it. your husband now needs your strength you have enough for both of you. I wish only great things for your and your husband and with your strength and beliefs you can do this
    love to you both from my heart to yours

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  79. Prayers, Prayers & more Prayers.....

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  80. You are in my thoughts are prayers. Keep your head held high. God never gives you more then you can handle.

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  81. Lana there is a saying in our family God is God ..... And Doctors are Not ..... So keep that light shining through the fleshly fear, and remember if you both believe in the Lord you will be together for Eternity....It is just getting through this time here that is the hard walk...

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  82. OMG!!!! I am so sorry to hear how sick your hubby is! He and you are definitely in my prayers. I wish that I lived closer so I could come give you a big hug, so heres an air hug!!!! My husband has also been sick and they dont know what the cause is. I know its so hard to see them like that and that there is nothing you can do to take there pain away. i will keep you in my prayers! Love you girl!!!

    Lori Coffey

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  83. Sending you much love and prayers. Even thou I don't personally know you or your family my heart breaks at feeling the pain you are in right now... XoXO Summer

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  84. I am so sorry for what happened Lana. I know that you and he have the bond and strength to get through what is happening a lot better than I could. You are in my prayers and my deepest hopes.

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  85. Oh Lana sweetie I am praying as hard and fast as I can for you and your dear husband. Three of my immediate family members have been diagnosed and treated for esophageal cancer so every test, every step along your journey is very familiar to me. You have an awesome team that your working with, the tests & procedures in the time frame they have been conducted in is nothing short of amazing. They have condensed weeks of testing into hours & days. Timelines are extremely critical. I know you are reaching out for any and every miracle & you want to make sure he has the best of care but PLEASE PLEASE don't put off a single day of starting radiation while your getting the second opinion. Lana your also an amazingly strong soul, you have been taught to respond under pressure so your husband is in very good hands. I know it's tough considering the circumstances but you also have to take care of yourself. Just remember all of your extended family is rooting and praying for you & your husband.

    God bless, & take care.

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  86. Love and healing to you both xxx

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  87. I wish I could help you, honestly. I could say that you helped me too with your advises to see life the way it is and stop just wishing more and more and just appreciate what you have but now it would sound kinda stupid here, I don't know. All I can say is you proved that you are a strong woman and of course you are scared and feel lost and most of all, angry that you are not able to cure him yourself BUT he finally went to the doctor, he decided to live and not just let's see what happens I don't wanna see a hospital - like some of my relatives did. You should stay strong for him and he must want to live. It all happens in the mind, not with the medicines. I don't believe in God at all, but I will send you all my energies to feel me when you need me!!!

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  88. Praying for you and your husband. You are a VERY strong lady and you will get through this. Thinking of you. xx

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  89. Hi Lana. I'm one of your YouTube subscribers. (My user name is imhere2dance.) I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. *Hugs*

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  90. Dearest Lana, having been through the grieving process several times I can't help but think what type of "God" would allow people to hurt so deeply. I lost my vivacious, healthy brother unexpectedly on May 31, 2011 (just 2 days defore my birthday). He came home and passed away in his sleep without warning. My family feels robbed! But, I have to tell you that when it's sudden--and if the person was GREAT it's an indication that they were needed for bigger and better things which this corrupt world couldn't possibly provide.I know this message began grim, however I said it all to say that no one knows the final outcome. Your wonderful hubby is still here, ready and willing to fight for another 12 years here with you. He truly needs for you to dress in your most fabulous suit of armor (stronger and fancier than your Chanel), grab his hand and fight with him. Collectively, you can beat this--and you can win!!! Claim it, believe it and start to fight.

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  91. Dear Lana,
    Thank you for sharing. Please keep being strong. Your husband and you will get through this. Bring laughter to him the way you bring it to your readers and subscribers. Both of you will be in my thoughts.

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  92. Lana,

    I can see from your video how anxious and fearful you are. Please know our prayers are with you. Surrender it all to our Father so you may rest.

    Your husband needs you to be strong. He is counting on you! Have faith in modern medicine and do what needs to be done. The rest will take care of itself.

    You leave a good message...to really love the one you are with and those who are far. God bless you and your husband. Mel xox

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  93. Dear Lana
    I don't know if you and your husband are believers
    or not but, the bible is a SUPERNATURAL book.God said his word will not RETURN to him VOID so,when in trouble we need to PRAY his word BACK to HIM. Find HEALING scriptures and speak them OUT LOUD inserting your husbands NAME.I would also pray psalm 91 over yourselves every day as, this is a prayer of protection. GOD BLESS you both.XX

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  94. Lana,

    My prayers are with you and your husband. Have faith and strength for your husband as he needs it right now and God will give you the strength, just ask him for it. You are in my thoughts and prayers, God Bless You xoxoxoxo

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  95. Lana sweet, sweet Lana... I adore u my love & prayers go out to u & ur husband. God will raise ur shoulders up high & give u wings like the angel u r to what u must, I so promise this In Jesus name I pray xoxo

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  96. Hi Lana,

    I don't know you or your husband but I love you through your videos. Please don't take this the wrong way. You cannot be afraid. This is not the time for fear. This is the time where you are the giant of faith and belief. Find every scripture on healing and meditate day and night. Vision those lumps off his neck. Pray with and over your husband and believe without a shadow of doubt that he is already healed. Speak positive concerning his health when others ask, e.g. he is getting better and better by the minute and believe what you say. Before long, God will give you everything you said, prayed, visioned, and meditated concerning good vibrate health for your husband.

    I stand in prayer with you.

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  97. Praying for you and your family Lana! Your a very strong woman and god will help you thru it.

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  98. Please make sure your husband & entire family know we are here to love, support, & PRAY with him, you, & them... we know you're much more than shoes, handbags & makeup.. your network is as well... it's solid, faithful & willing to pray & support...

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  99. Take him to Redding California to Bethel Church!! They will pray for him! They have quite amazing results with healing! You will feel love more than u ever felt in church and you will see God move in the miraculous. Go to ibethel.com and watch all the cancer testimonies. They are amazing!! God loves !!. Fear is not our friend anyway shape or form. I pray right now in the name of Jesus that He will shower u guys with the Peace of heaven and that love will rain down and saturate u both in this season. Remember the doctors do not have the final say. They aren't God! GET HIM TO BETHEL NOW!! Go on this website I'm telling u its awesome!! Praying for you Lana, Lauren

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  100. your family is in my prayers ♥

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  101. Lana,

    I'm sitting here writing this through tears after having seen your recent video. I am so sorry for the heck that you are going through right now and can only imagine the hurt, pain, fear that you are feeling. I've been watching your videos for awhile and just assumed you were away on vacation. I so wish I could be there for you to cry with, talk with, scream with, whatever you would need to help get through this very difficult time. You are such a loving and giving person, so I will do the next best thing and keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers as long as you guys need me to. Stay strong and keep the faith. No matter how hard life gets for you both, remember God is the way, the truth, and the light and He will be your guide through all of lifes trials and tribulations.

    Much love,
    Christi

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  102. You don't know it, but I've shared a few tears with you tonight. Ok, a lot of tears. I've thought about you guys all day and checked your blog at least 100 times to see if you had time to update. Since reading it, I feel sick to my stomach and sad that you both are living this horrible nightmare. I so wish I could take this away from you guys. I have no words that will comfort you. I doubt much of anything will comfort you at this point, except maybe prayer. I'm definitely a big advocate for prayer. I imagine that neither of you are feeling particularly strong right now, but if your YT and blog community can do anything for you, I hope we can be a constant reminder that you guys have a beautiful life for a reason...you're both warriors. Your husband is a strong athlete and you're a tough cookie. Never doubt your strength. You're both going to fight this because this is what has to be done. Fight like you've never fought before. The odds have been broken many times in this crazy world we live in. Never give up hope. Without hope Lana, we have nothing. I'm sending all my love, positive energy and HOPE your way tonight.

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  103. Lana, I can't tell you how many times you have made me laugh, or taught me something, or made me proud to be in my late 40's. I have been praying for you two and will continue to do so. God bless.

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  104. Yes doctors are put here on earth to aid us to help us but they are only man, only human. Do Not let the doctors speak death over your husband. Dont even let that enter your thought, your bodies or your soul. Only God knows our destiny. Tell the doctors that you do not accept that and speak Life to your husband. Fight! You can prove them wrong. Childlike faith has and will move mountians. Hold on to that faith like never before. When you recieve negative news, draw on your faith & believe it, not man. God said that he would not put more on us than we could stand. A strong women I know stood up from the chair she was sitting in when her doctor told her she had three months to live. She smiled at him and took his hand and said, No. Only God knows my days & I chose life. She had to battle chemo & radiation but here she sit eight years later. She never let the doctors, nurses or family speak words of death or dying over her and she is winning the battle with God. She is my Mother. She told me something I will hold in my heart forever. She said that when she would feel the fear or sickness/death creaping in she would pray to her Father God. She would close her eyes and see him AS a Father sitting in a huge chair. She said she would crawl up in his lap and wrap her weak arms around His neck and let Him comfort her. We all have different ways of seeing God we just have to open ourselves to allow him to comfort us & He will. So both of you seek refuge in the arms of the Lord, believe what He alone will tell you. Fight. It's time to put your armour on and beat this thing. Of course you will come up on probably huge obstacles but you too can over come. God has already made the way for you, you just have to hold on to eachother and go through it. Find your peace and praise HIM all the way through. I love you both & pray for you both ever day.

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  105. LANA I CAME ACROSS THIS SCRIPTURE FOR U AND UR HUSBAND,( PSALMS 91 VERSE 14,15,16) BECAUSE HE LOVES ME,SAYS THE LORD, I WILL RESCUE HIM; I WILL PROTECT HIM, FOR HE ACKNOWLEDGES. MY NAME HE WILL CALL UPON ME, AND I WILL ANSWER HIM; I WILL BE WITH HIM IN TROUBLE I WILL DELIVER HIM AND HONOR HIM WITH LONG LIFE WILL I SATISFY HIM AND SHOW HIM MY SALVATION,!!!!!!!!! SHARE THIS WITH UR HUSBAND AND TOGETHER STAND FIRM WITH FAITH AND JUST SEE WHAT THE LORD WILL DO FOR U AND UR HUSBAND........

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  106. Hi Lana
    So sorry to hear that your loving Husband is sick. May God keep you both in His tender healing care. And His Heavenly Angels be with you. God is good,and miracles happen everyday! Love to you and your loving family best wishes for a brighter future xx Beth

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  107. Lana I am crying for you and for your husband. I was dx with ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) on 12/22/09, several days before christmas, I was devastated, they said I had about a 40% chance at surviving, I have a little boy (4 yrs old now), all I can think was Oh my God how can I leave my Aiden! I know what your husband is going through, its pure torture and pain BUT you know waht? knowing he has you and the strong love you have for him is what will get him through, believe me, I know waht I'm talking about! My brother would sit there and cry every time he visited me (he's a Doctor so you'd think he would be immune to this stuff), anyway, I never felt so loved in my life as I did during the year I was fighting for my life! The outpouring of love and support I am getting to this day is what got me through! As dark as things seem now, he can get through this, you're a wonderful person Lana, you help abused children, you help millions of women feel good about themselves and now you're helping the love of your life through his toughest battle! I'm praying for you both! love to you!! Michele

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  108. Thank you for the reminder that every day is a gift to be cherished with loved ones. I'm going to go kiss my kids in their beds again. I know it's hard. Hang on. My mom has survived four different cancers and is still going strong. You never know...

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  109. Lana I want to write to you but don't know the words to say. First of all let me tell you how much I appreciate your videos and all you have done for us "over 50" women. I have felt so much better about againg since finding you on youtube. With that said it may seem weird to you but I feel like you are a good friend and you are going through the trial of your life and it makes me so very sad! I get tears when I read your posts and today even laughter when I read about your dear husbands personality...what a wonderful marriage you have! I turn to God when I can't think of the correct thing to say or do. So here is a bible verse you might consider today it is about worry. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own" matthew 6:34 and this... "Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's sorrow, it empties today of it's strength" - Corrie Ten Boom. So dear Lana for now, save your strength and live today for today and enjoy the moments you have together and God will take care of tomorrow! You have so much prayer going up for Henry because of everyone's love for you....isn't that an amazing and wonderful thing to know? There is so much power in prayer! God bless you and stay strong!
    Love, Kathy

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  110. hey ms lana thank you so much for all you do for us girls over 50 and beyond...words can not begin to express what i am feeling right now for you, your dear husband and your family; the only immediate word that comes to mind is prayer and a lot of it you all are on our church prayer line concerning this most devastating crisis...my heart goes out to you along with many hugs and kisses...we are all praying for you...take care and god bless...ps please keep us posted when possible...love u...

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  111. You and your husband will be in my prayers Ms. Lana. Please stay strong and make sure your husband is consistent about taking care of his health. The trick my best friend did with her dad who was experiencing similar symptoms was she told him he should go to the doctor and follow every healthy procedure not for him, but for her. He was more willing to see the doctor and take care of his health for her and for himself. Keep us updated and I'm sending you virtual hug.

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  112. God is Good. He loves you and he loves your husband. I pray for your healing and for your husbands', too. I know that when one hurts, the other one does, too. God is good. He is a miracle worker. God bless you both.
    love, "me".

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  113. God Bless You Lana!!! Praying for you thinking of you and your life right now! Romans 10 tells us that faith comes from hearing and hearing from the word of Christ. To help us believe God for healing oursleves, our friends and our families it helps to have a good grasp of the Scriptures concerning healing. These Scriptures are small enough to be written on a business card sized bit of paper, carried around and memorised.
    (Psalms 6:2 NKJV) Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.(Psalms 147:3 NKJV) He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. (http://newtestamentprayer.org /articles/healvers.htm)

    If you have a bible? take a look at the book of Psalms in the bible it should be toward the middle of the book, about healing and comforting and even when reading it it is like fruit to the starving soul and let's me know I am not alone and your not alone, were all not alone in our hard and confusing times when life goes wow whats going on. xoxo Marissa

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  114. Lana every day since you sent your fist message i think about you- are you getting what you need?-sometimes we need to day dream and think about wonderfull things to escape--get away from that fear-full moment- nothing is worse than fear- it makes what bad worse- it makes scary terrified- its the unknown- i am going to tell you a true funny story-to help you day dream-- when i fell down a flight of steps and hurt my back there was a pain i could not get rid of- i treid everything-the last thing on my list was Chinese energetics- i began to research it- there were rules you had to follow to heal yourself- #1 be pure- do not think bad thoughts- i was ok with that- #2 think like a 2 yrs old- have no judgements over any one no criticisms- right there i knew it was over for me! My beautiful granddaughters father is such a jerk! i would rather be in pain than like him LOL- we can relate to people in our lives like that!!!hope it made you grin0 i love you - be well and let the miracles happen! x shelly (magicadespell56)

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  115. Bless your heart!! You are such a lovely lady and I enjoy your videos and seeing you smile!! I know you are scared, I will be praying for you and your husband!! Remember God is always there for us!! You are so right about loving people while we have them, we are not promised tomorrow and that is what I have been trying to do. I just love ya to bits and you will be in my prayers and thoughts daily!:)

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  116. Lana I am praying for gods healing for your husband and for your strength everyday. Love you. I am sorry you both are having to go through all of this pain and suffering. K

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  117. Sweet Lana, you may not realize it, but you were put into your husband's life for a reason. I hope you realize what a bright light and source of love and inspiration you are to him, and to the rest of us. Please know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and your husband.

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  118. stay encouraged...while your youtube family prays for you

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  119. Thinking of you and hoping for the best

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  120. Dont worry just yet, it might be nothing major . No sense in worrying in what could be.

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  121. @ISTEVE Are you serious? Have you read this blog in its entirety ? I suggest you do so.

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  122. my prayers are with you and your family...i know what you are going through.

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  123. lana, i guess you have never heard of jin shin juitsu or rang dröl as it i salso called. a friend of mine had cancer and this technique was practised on her everyday for the whole time of treatment. it added immensly to her wellbeing during that time. once she missed one treatment and had a grey looking skin- so she was treated on her central energy channel every day. it is very simple to do. you just put two fingers on certain points on the body, the central energy channel, the line straight from the head to the lower half of the body. so if you are interesed google this get a book on it where it is explained where and in what order to put the fingers. it absolutly adds to the wellbeing of the organs. can it cure cancer, i don't know, but it helps to get along better during the chemo.
    i wish you all the best and if jin shin juitsu is nothing for you i wish you find exactly the method that is helping you.

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  124. Dear Lana, you have brought so much light into your audience's life, and I hope our love and prayers are able to bring some light into yours and your husband's. Am holding space in my heart for you.

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  125. Lana, May God bless you and your family at this terrible time in your life, but I know you will hang in there and get through it because you are such a giving and loving and honest person. My prayers are with you. Life throws us punches and we just have to try and get through them as best we can. I have been there with my father,grandfather so I can semi understand.You have been such a positive influence on me and I love you for it. God Bless

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  126. Dear Lana:
    My adult daughter is a 10yr survivor of Leukemia. Her identical twin sister was her cell stem donor. She was 35 when she was diagnosed, My world was turned upside down, but our God is a healer and He is able. Just speak positive words & believe Henry will be healed. This is a test of the enemy and your faith must be strong. We walk by faith not by sight!
    Much Love
    Nevaeh

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  127. Dear Lana,
    I am so sorry to hear these news, I was living in Europe and moved to South America 4 months ago. I didn't have a home and internet but now I am settled here and I started to look for you on YouTube, oh my! how sad to see you crying! and your poor Henry. I love my husband so much, I will be so scare as you are.
    Lana, I am so surprised to see all these people who write to you! like me. Take courage Lana, I think spiritually speaking you are not alone.
    I will pray for both of you.
    Love,
    Rosa Pardo.

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  128. Hi Lana,
    OMG how I can relate, my dad was diagnosised with stage 4 throat cancer almost 10 years ago, how we found it, was his speech was dimishing over time, no one every really questioned it, until we noticed weight loss, now whether he was coughing up blood, we would never known it, b/c he wouldn't say antyhing out of fair. To make a very very long story short. He has a small lump on his larnyx (vocal cords), which they left alone, it didn't have the cancer cells in it...thank God! however he did endore the same things Henry did. he had 7 straight weeks of radiation and 1 full day of chemo treatment. He too was fitted for that awful looking mask and they zapped at his throaat area...he was given the temporary feeding tube through the stomach, it was hard to convince a 60 something year old Italian!! LOL....that it was only temporary b/c of him having difficulty swallowing from the treatments and aftermath....the burning etc. I can say that even though we are surrounded by cancer, when it hits one of YOUR loved ones, it effects the entire family....My dad has 7 children, and wife, it effected us all...I was shopping with my coworker, when my sister called me to tell, my dad did indeed have cancer, I fell to my knees and was hysterically crying, we relate cancer as a death sentence....it was hard!! I can say that we overcame that year of hell! and I can thank God, and can happily say that my dad beat the son of bitch, cancer!! Although he still has the small lump, which hasn't grown, that was one of their concerns, our concern was my father WOULD NEVER have gone for the surgery, he said b/c of the quality of life, it would kill him....he would rather have died....Hang in there Lana, even with stage 4 cancer, it CAN BE beat!! I know its harder to say than to do, but YOU ARE NOW Henry's rock be strong, being positive and keeping that faith in God will get you through it.....its a rocky road Lana, I know, torture, take one day at a time! Hugs and prayers to Henry, you and your family!!!

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  129. OOps correction, my dad had 1 full day of chemo per week during the radiation treatment.

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  130. LANA, U AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY PRAYERS! MAY GOD GIVE U PEACE! HUGS: DEANNA

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  131. Lana, I'm so sorry that you're going through hell. It's the worst thing ever having someone you love suffer, especially when you know they have it very bad. My yellow lab had cancer a few years ago, during the summer, and I was so so so so so upset. I wanted to cry all day, sacrifice my arm if it meant she would survive and have the pain taken away. I'm 18, and for the past month or so I've been in fear that I have contracted HIV from a hookup I had a while ago. I don't know where to go for the testing, but am afraid to also!! So I go through the day, getting deep pains of worry that I have HIV and that my life is over. I'm so worried. But anyway, I hope you're situation turns out well, and that you can feel stress free and happy soon, as it's something I dream for myself as well.

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  132. I'm so sorry for what has happen to you & your family. My god be with all of you.I will keep you & your husband in my prays.

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  133. Lanna how r u doing? Have not heard from u in a while praying for ur family,

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  134. Lana,have never written...watched you often. You brought smiles to my life when my husand was recovering from a severe stroke and we did not know if he would make it. You are right EVERYTHING changes...he is not the same, but he IS ALIVE..I thank God for that every day. We (he and I) have just lost dear ones to cancer, so we know the pain from the beginning.

    Lana,I cried for you as I watched your video...I know the regrets, but I know prayers work. The number of people praying for you and your husband is sure to make a difference. Keep strong for him, that is what he needs now...I have been there...but take time for yourself too. Try to keep healthy, stay positive, pray, and know God loves you both. You will need all your strength for his recovery :)

    I will be praying for you

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  135. Lana, cancer is not a death sentence, but it must be a wake-up call. Check these videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1uC3ZNwTxI&feature=related cancer cure baking soda
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  136. homeopathy treat cancer.

    Are there research studies in homeopathy?

    Yes, there are a significant number of studies completed in the US and Europe on various aspects of homeopathy. The web-site for the National Center for Homeopathy gives an excellent overview of a sampling of these studies. For details, see www.homeopathic.org/research.htm.
    homeopathic remedies cause an action-reaction response within the immune system. The remedy pushes the disease process in one direction and the immune system rebounds back in the opposite direction, stimulating the healing process.

    How do homeopathic professionals use homeopathy treat cancer?

    There are several different treatment philosophies and approaches for using homeopathy to treat individuals with cancer. Often times practitioners that use homeopathy in the treatment of cancer use a combination of these approaches.

    One approach is to use homeopathic remedies to target the tumors themselves. In this case, the homeopath selects remedies which match the symptom picture of the tumor itself (e.g. Conium Maculatum for hard immovable tumors that develop slowly). Homeopaths using this approach might also consider other symptoms (such as the individual’s food cravings, disposition, etc), but their primary focus is to target the tumor and reverse its growth. Some physician homeopaths also give remedies at the tumor site itself (in the form of an injection) to more aggressively stimulate a response.

    Another approach is to use homeopathic remedies to assist in healing the patient’s eliminative channels (kidneys, urinary tract, lymphatic system, liver, etc), and strengthen cell detoxification. In this case, the homeopath may use drainage remedies. These are low potency combination remedies that are used to target specific systems, or detoxify particular substances (e.g. heavy metals, etc). Homeopaths using this approach select the drainage remedy based on an analysis of the case – or they may use an electro-dermal diagnostic tool, such as the Quantum machine.

    Still another approach is to use homeopathy to address the overall constitution of the patient. In this case (called the classical approach), the homeopath does a complete interview of the patient’s mental, emotional, and physical symptoms and then selects the best match accordingly. Often the best selected constitutional remedy will directly affect the tumor. By assisting the body in addressing and resolving the energy that underlies the tumor, it can result in complete elimination of the tumor. The best selected constitutional remedy can also support drainage and detoxification, although this is not the primary focus of a classical prescriber.

    How effective is homeopathy in the treatment of cancer?

    In the US, most alternative health care professionals use homeopathy in combination with other approaches (nutritional and immune system support, diet and detoxification programs, etc), so it’s not typically considered as a primary or stand-alone therapy for cancer. However, when used correctly, and in combination with necessary therapies, it can be an amazingly powerful tool for empowering someone to heal themselves of cancer. There are many cases in homeopathic literature (from other countries where homeopathy is more commonly used for cancer) in which the correct homeopathic recommendation resulted in the resolution of tumors, reversal of the cancer process, and recovery by the patient.

    Also, homeopathy has an excellent track record in the treatment of animals with cancer and there is much anecdotal evidence that certain remedies (when correctly selected) are effective in reversing the cancer process.

    Much of the success with homeopathy, however, depends on the skill level of the practitioner and the resources of the patient to heal on all levels.

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  137. Please know God loves U and your husband! Remind the Lord what He said will not return void= He SAID "By His stripes we are healed" believe in His Words and U & urs will recieve!!AMEN

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  138. Dear Lana, I continue to pray for you and I am sending you light and love. I cannot sit at my computer without checking to see if you have posted. xo

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  139. Hi my sweet friend...I am so sorry for your pain and I continue to pray for your peace. Don't worry about us we are here for you whenever you are ready. We want you to be okay through all of this. Please take care of yourself Lana and don't give up on life. We are here sending you daily love and positive thoughts and prayers. We love you my friend. Peace be with you......it will take a long time but it will come again someday.

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  140. Lana, you and your dear husband will continue to be in my prayers. Keep the faith and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers! God bless. Nona

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  141. Dear Sweet Lana, I was just thinking about you & checking to see if you've posted. Jesus loves you - you're His precious girl! Please rest in His love. Much love from CT. xxoo

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  143. Prayer's for you and your husband, God Bless

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  144. Lana, I am so sorry for your pain.

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  145. I pray for you and your husband. You need to be strong, in order to survive this! God bless you and your husband.

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  146. LANA where are you? What's going on? Let us hear something!

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  147. Lana, I've been sitting here for a couple of hours just reading your stories and thinking. Not only is my heart sad for you, but I am remembering my own experience as a care giver. I am almost 28 (birthday on Tuesday, yeah buddy!), but when I was in my senior year of college, my mother was diagnosed with COPD, Emphysema, and the big one: Lung Cancer.

    Reading your blog brought up lots of old memories. The long days of chemo, waiting in a room with dentist chair style contraptions. Going a mile down the road to radiation on alternate days and sitting alone, terrified to look at the people around me.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am with you...All of us former caregivers are. Our loved ones lost the battle, but we have to keep fighting daily. We have been left behind, but we can't give up.

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  148. how do I go about sending you a private email

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