Saturday, July 9, 2011

Feeding Tubes are like Dial Up Internet.

The Dreaded Tube~
Ugh. I could write a book about that freaking ugly tube. 
It's nasty. How would you like to see food disappearing down a tiny tube into a hole punched into your stomach and the damned thing just dangles there like an appendage some alien life-form stuck to you but can not be removed. I know it is life-saving but I hate and more importantly, my husband despises it!
A LinCare representative came to our house in a van marked "MEDICAL SUPPLY" and backed into our drive-way.  The young girl came in and gave me a lesson on how to feed my husband. Ha! I couldn't cook him a meal, how in the world am I going to feed him thru a tube?
It was a lot of information to absorb but you know what?
I did it!
One can yesterday at 375 calories, two cans today and 3 tomorrow until he is up to 2750 calories a day. 
7 Cans a day.
His taster has gone now. Everything tastes like plastic. His mouth has sores from the radiation. His salivary glands have completely left town.  
Dry mouth. No taste, no appetite, no fun.
The PEG Tube will be a life saver down the road. It's ugly but necessary. 
I think the hardest part of this for my husband is this:
This cancer has taken over his life. Completely.
This is a man that is President and CEO of a large successful company who has always had and been in control of everything in his life.
Now... Now he is or feels he has control of absolutely NOTHING.
He can no longer use his favorite deodorant. No mouthwash. His usual Crest Cinnamon toothpaste has been replaced by some nasty BioTene  for dry mouth. 
Say Bye-Bye to the Sonic-Care toothbrush. No more shaving. No aftershave. He is not allowed to drive and for him to have some woman... especially ME who is the world's worst driver on the planet drive him around is killing him. Now, he can no longer even eat a "Manly Meal" he has to be fed thru a hole in his stomach. It takes a toll on a man's pride.  I know it's hard for him but better to suffer a bit of pride and still be here. Can I get an Amen!

I want to share with you a note to a dear friend.

All of you have been MY support and I LOVE each and every single one of you more than you will ever know.

Dearest Donna~
I'm sorry we got cut off on Thursday. The surgeon came out and it all went well but, ugh. It's just so sad. My big, strong, healthy husband with holes and tubes and blood and being so thin.
Why did I think I could shove a full course meal down that tube? I had dreams of making lasagna, soup, even chicken and shoving that stuff down a tube. Ha! It would be like going back to Dial-up Internet. Shoving a Grilled Cheese Sandwich thru a straw for a 100 miles. 
LinCare (A Medical supply company) came yesterday and brought 2 cases of the "food" (2 cases 24 cans of canned liquid life), latex gloves, syringes, paper tape, etc. and showed me how to use it. I shudder to think about it.  It looks like crap and smells even worse. UPS will deliver these supplies to us twice a month. I used to wait for UPS to bring me Christian Louboutin's ordered from Barney's New York, wonderful makeup and skin care from Lancome or FUN packages from from far off places...
How does a girl trade parties, French restaurants, trips, flights,  shopping and luncheons, Chanel and FABULOUS for feeding tubes, syringes and bandages and blood and illness and mucus and food in a can?
I think God thought we were cruising, which we were, and put a giant speed bump in our path. NONE of those things are important, are they?
I mainly wanted to write to you and thank you for so much. For being here for me. For understanding. For being strong. For being YOU.
I finally got to the post office to check my mail there and found your beautiful gifts. I am excited to use that mask! It looks so relaxing. I am seriously thinking of having a wonderful glass of Australian wine and wearing that mask for the evening. Escaping.
Also, I have the NYX Jumbo in Milk on my eyes right now. It made me feel normal to wear it from YOU. The pink Yum lipstick is SO ME!!!
I love it! I love you.
I love everything and appreciated it more than you know. ooohhing and ahhhing over makeup gave me a sense of being ME again and I truly love you for giving me THAT! Let's see... Make up or bloody bandages. Yup. I'll take the makeup even if it's only a 5 minute reprieve.
When this is all over.... One of us is going to fly to meet for lunch. Right now, I fear even leaving the house for 30 minutes. I don't even know what it is I fear but I have this imaginary tether tied on me to him.  Think I can save a life? No. But as I told him....
I am going  to DRAG him thru this. It will NOT be pretty. In fact, it will most likely be very UGLY but drag him thru it I WILL! 
We will come out of this on the other side. Neither of us will be pretty but like a soldier dragging the warring wounded to safety, that is what I will do. We may become bloody and bruised but we WILL get thru!
I woke up this morning and came to the realization that we are turning into a very old old couple. 
George Clooney once said that "There is one year in a person's life that they age 10 years".... This, for us, is that year.
Love You Always


  1. my best friends dad was in a car accident about 10 years ago and he turned in to a vegetable hardly able to do anything on his own. He past away a few months ago, but for those 10 years all he ate was Ensure through a straw and coffee. All the times I was at their house and their kitchen was full of cases and cases of Ensure, it really is a miracle worker that stuff! Thinking about you and your husband every day Lana xx

  2. If the Donna you're writing to is the Donna I suspect, you've got a good friend who can relate to what you're going through in so many ways. We all love and adore you my lovely Lana. Very, very much. Stay strong....keep fighting.

  3. Stick with it Lana, your love for life will give you the strength to run through this battle field with Henry. I am so PROUD of you Lana and blessed that you game into my life, my admiration is bubbling over for you. That Cha-ching you hear, it's my wine glass against yours.... A TOAST TO GETTING THROUGH THIS VERY SOON. Much love to you and Henry always Margaret x x

  4. Amen, sweet Lana - keep fighting. We had our "age 10 years in one" last year and never thought we'd see the light again. We appreciate the tiniest things now. Sending hugs and prayers.

  5. I don't know what to say. Just commenting to send you my cyberhugs.

  6. Love, love, love and more love - every day, every minute, to you and Henry. A little mask, a little wine, a little lipstick - it all helps. Happiness is made up of all the little moments. Hugs xxxxx Eva

  7. Dear Lana. My father had colon cancer and went thru the radiation and chemo treatments, so I can relate to the hell that you and Henry are going thru. Thank God it was succesful for my Dad. He did'nt come out unscathed, he had to endure a colostomy but he lived several years hence. My Mother got up every morning took her shower and put on her makeup. I think it was her way of coping and having some time for herself in the midst of terror. My Dad used to tease her and say "it would a shame if you lost your good looks" but I think he was glad that she could a have some sense of normalcy.I pray that you can find that too. Love and hugs, Klaire

  8. Dearest Lana,
    My heart hurts for you and your wonderful husband Henry John. I hope that you know how you are inspiring your readers to take care of themselves and their loved ones. I wonder how many have gone for that mammogram that they have been putting off or helped a loved one make the decision to get checked out at a doctor. Your blog reminds us all to cherish each moment with our family and friends. I thank you for that. The letter to your friend Donna reminded me of this quote from Winston Churchill: "When you're going through hell, keep going." Lots of love and {hugs} from Oregon...Linda

  9. You are an inspiration, Lana...I just wanted to tell you that! An amazing wife, woman and friend!! Much hugs for you and Henry John!! xoxo Sara

  10. I have happy, healing thoughts...from me to you and Henry. Love you guys.....

  11. It's so important to try and create a little "you" time, so you can escape and recharge a bit whenever you can or feel like you need to. Prayers and love to you and Henry. Big hugs.

  12. Lana,

    You could age 10 years in one day and still be beautiful. I'm glad to hear your husband is getting some calories back into his body. He'll need those. I hope you put on that mask tonight and escape. Take a nice hot bath with your wine and mask, and be gone. Many prayers your way.


    I hope you're feeling well today. Hopefully getting those calories will give you a bit more energy. You need all of the energy you can get. You're gonna be fine. I don't think Lana is going to let you be anything other then fine..which is the way it should be ;). Prayers for you. Keep fighting.

    Love always,

  13. Hi there Lana - you are sounding strong today! I'm so glad. I know this is totally brutal but I also absolutely know that you can do this. I know that I am experiencing nothing like what you are going through, but I wanted to tell you about what I've been learning the past few weeks anyway. I really hope you don't think it is presumptuous of me to do so. Right around when your husband got diagnosed (almost to the day), the small creek that runs behind our house began to flood. We had expected high water this year and had installed a sump pump in the basement (we learned how to do it on youtube) and we sandbagged a few areas in our yard. But then the water hit and it was so much worse than we had expected (than anyone could have expected!). We built a levee from wood, plastic and sandbags and helped our neighbors the best we could and hunkered down to watch this thing. But the water kept on coming and coming. And bridges up above our neighborhood blew out, sending debris and rock and sludge right down to us. I should back up and tell you that it was almost impossible to imagine me digging or wading through muddy water, let alone lift a sandbag, had you known me a before this all started. I honestly didn't think I could do any of it. The snakes and the muck and the spiders and creepy crawlies and getting cut up on barbed wire when I'm digging mud out of the fence to let the water pass and using power tools and digging holes and trenches and getting sunburnt and mosquito-bitten and bruised and good lord my hands! I was the prissiest, weakest, girliest, girl before this all started. I would freak out if my manicure was chipped. I spent my time - well, I think you know how I spent my time! And then today - I was exhausted from getting up every 2 hours (after 3 weeks of sandbagging and I don't know what) all night to refill the gas tank on the gas-powered irrigation pump in my yard. But somehow I carried even more sandbags when my neighbor's levee broke and sent icy water rushing down their lawn towards our home. I stood in that creek and dug for hours, trying to reshape the direction of the creek away from our neighborhood and towards an empty field. I bought and installed 2 more sump pumps in neighbor's yards to try to decrease the flow of water coming to our house. I hired a backhoe to dig a trench through our yard (ouch) so that the water wouldn't pool and come in our basement windows. I slogged through knee deep water mud, just to get from point A to point B. It's not cancer and we have our health and your saga is reminding me to be so grateful for that. But what I'm learning is that I can do so much more than I ever thought I could. I am so much stronger than I imagined I was. I am capable of getting through this and Lana, I know that you are too. I only know you from your videos and blog (I never comment, but I subscribed recently and I've watched for a long time - I'm bethlovesenzo), but I'm so impressed with you. You are a strong and amazing woman and you are going to get your family through this. Lean on others when you can Lana, but know that you have your own strong self to lean on too.

  14. Hi Lana and Henry,

    No need to worry about that ten year growth period in the least. You will both be fabulous at 60,70 and beyond.

    You will both find your joy again in life. It is amazing what us mere mortals can endure and bounce back from. It is often called "battling" cancer. It is a battle, and there is nothing pretty about a battle. When the battle is won there is nothing prettier then the victory.

    May God give you both strength and hearts filled with hope.

    Jan H

  15. Love and hugs and prayers today and always!!!!! xoxoxoxoxRia

  16. Ciao Lana,

    I am still praying for you and your husband... you are always so near to my heart and thoughts each day and always on my lips in prayer.

    You are a very strong lady Lana... even though you may not think that, and most days dont even feel that... but yes.. you are a very strong lady... You can do it!!! I know you can!!! Keep up the GREAT work... and you ARE doing wonderful. If I was near... I would give you such a big hug my dear friend... just for being such an amazing lady and wife to your husband.

    "I will worship towards Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name." Psalm 138:2 NKJV

    Love you so much Lana.... Sending you big (((((((HUGS))))))). Stay strong!!

    I am keeping my prayers for you, as always.

    Hugs & Kisses

  17. Continued prayers for your husband and you! Stay strong! Love you, Lana.


  18. Thinking of you, and sending positive energy your way. Stay strong.

  19. Oh Lana, thank you for taking the time to blog what is going on. We are following your every word. In spite of the horrible things you are going through, you are two beautiful souls trying to find your way, and you are showing us how to persevere with dignity and love. I am sorry for all you are both enduring. I can't even say we understand because unless you've experienced trouble at this level, you can't. But we know love and are sending it your way. Love, Connie, ahulagirl10

  20. Still sending love, prayers, and positive thoughts your way! You have been so strong through all of this!

  21. Like putting gas in a is necessary for it to run. And so is feeding Henry through that tube. Not fun, nor pretty, appealing or tasty...but necessary and hopefully it will put some weight back on, which will aid in this fight. My husband is a drummer. Last night he called me, on the way home from a upset because he had hit a pothole and the back tailgate of the truck popped down and out rolled his $1,000 kick drum. Thank God no one hit it and didn't injure anyone else or their car, but he was upset. This morning when we woke up, he was still upset. I said "it means nothing". I reminded him of what you and Henry are going through and said "some people are battling for their very lives...your drum, my clothes, furniture..."things"...mean absolutely nothing when the chips are down. I had tears in my eyes when he looked at me and said "you are right". We both are pulling for you both and fight the good fight every moment! Hugs and love, Joe and Angi
    Calvikingchick YT

  22. Lana I've had my battles too - severe back injury and multiple miscarriages. I have lived with strong pain everyday for over ten years. It has given me such an appreciation of life and love and contentment that I never knew before. You will have your joy and peace at the end of this... I promise. Remember nothing stays the same and so there is always hope and optimism.

    Love to you both,

    Sue xxx

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  24. Lana,
    Words can't tell you how you have changed how I think, how I feel, how I look at life in a whole new way each and every time I read your blog.
    As you "carry" Henry through this hard and difficult time, allow us, your friends, your family,to CARRY YOU! We will be here if you need us, we will listen attentively to each and every word, we will give you support, love and care to you (and him) as you both go through this, and we will back off at times when you need your space. Tell us how you feel, how angry you are at how your life has turned upside down, and how Cancer sucks ass! I will never understand why there is cancer in the world or why great people get it. Never seems to happen to crappy people, just the good ones.
    Life is all about lessons...We don't know the reason for it yet, but, some day, "More will be revealed"!
    I pray for you and Henry and your family each day...I think you have a lot of people praying for you guys , Lana! One reason why you are loved and endeared so much is because you are a beautiful woman inside and out. You have a great heart, and you carry yourself with class no matter the situation! Henry picked a wonderful woman when he chose you!!!!!!!
    Chin up! Keep the positive thoughts flowing...It helps so much. Visualize at night, the doctor coming into the room, sitting in the little rolling chair, having paperwork in his/her hand, and the Doctor saying to you, "We have done more tests on him, and it shows that he is cancer free!" Keep that tape rolling in your head before you fall asleep at night and when you awake in the morning!Just try it!It worked for my grandmother...It's called Creative Visualization..there might even be books on it. It may sound like a bunch of none-sense and how can anyone think of that when he is suffering so much. Trust me, it works. And thank God each night for making him healthy and whole. Same thing in a way.
    We love you...

  25. Dear Lana, it's amazing to read about your strength and I have so much respect for you. Keep fighting and keep staying strong, give yourself that wonderful mask of Donna and take a few minutes a day for yourself please.
    I hope and pray to god that henry will recover and that in a year from now you both can look back to this period as a very bad dream.
    love you!

  26. God bless Henry and you sweet are not alone..ever. Prayers headed your way.

  27. I have feel your strength, even if at times you can't feel it. We are handle things we are handed and you are doing a fabulous job. We all love you.

  28. tell your husband this: you have cancer. period. cancer DOES NOT have you, you have to remember who comes first in that statement.

    it sounds hard but don't let this all consume your life, find ways to be as normal as this life will allow you to. cuddle up on the sofa and watch a movie or something else you maybe enjoyed together and just try to forget all this nastiness that is affecting you right now. if your husband feels powerless just remember he holds all the cards, getting through all these treatments he has been keeping his head high and going to them even if they are uncomfortable, you cant have cancer if you're not alive, and clearly he is fighting to stay that way. cancer is weak compared to him, he can get through these treatments and the tubes and ports and surgeries, cancer can't do that, he is stronger than he thinks and he has more power than he realizes.

  29. Dearest Lana, You will get there, you will see this through, both you and Henry will talk about this as a nasty ugly part of your past in the near future. God bless you both. Warmest affection, Leyla :) xxxooo

  30. lana, I remember having to give my dad them protein drinks when he was in a horrific motorcycle accident... I had to take care of him for like a year and when I mean take care everything including wiping my own dad's bottom. I didn't think I could do it but I know God carried me through it... And he will carry you & Henry also. I had to be my dad's wound care nurse, physical therapist, and etc. My dad despised me at times. I remember his hair would stand up on his head like a cat when I had to give him them protein type drinks. So with me telling you that maybe it's a good thing for now only that Henry can't taste them nasty drinks. I think about yall every day. I know I don't actually know you or your husband but I feel I do. I want the best outcome possibly for yall. So I will continue to pray for the both of you. Life is full of challenges, but these challenges are only given to you because God knows your faith is strong enough to get through them :)xoxo

  31. Oh Lana...I wake up in the mornings, and you, a perfect stranger are on my mind. I have prayed for you and Henry on many separate occasions. God is right there with you, and I know you are going to see many miracles, large and small, along your journey.

  32. Thanks for sharing your experiences so openly and honestly with all of us. You are a wonderful writer and make us all feel like we're right there with you. You've inspired so many of us to improve our looks and self-image, perhaps your next step will be to inspire those who have to watch a loved one suffer through cancer treatment. It reminds me of another strong lady who spoke honestly about her most private moments-Betty Ford- who passed away this week. In the midst of all of this don't forget to give yourself some time off; Care-taking is so demanding. Remember that we need to put on our own oxygen masks before we can help others. Take care


  33. Lana....I have been there...having to drag my husband to recovery it wasn't cancer, it was a horrible accident. I drug him to recovery and you are right it won't be pretty and sometimes you will have to go out of earshot and cuss like a sailor but you will make it and be stronger for it. The two of you will bond in a strange sort of way only possible I believe when faced by a tragedy. I pray for you daily. The two of you that is. Keep your head up!
    Sending Love and God Bless,
    ~Tera D

  34. Mask....take her away. <3

    Praying as always....


  35. Lana and Henry,
    I love you, I pray for you. Be strong, and may your love carry you over this.
    Hugs and kisses,

  36. Lana And Henry

    I've been through that ten year thing 3's hell but Henry is so lucky to have you in his corner...I like that you will drag him through whatever it takes....I picture Scarlett O'Hara telling god is my witness...You'll get him through this...and god help anyone and anything that gets in your way! You go are stronger than you know....always warmly in my thoughts..both you and Henry *big hug* Sandy

  37. Lana and Henry: I think of and pray for both of you when I go to bed at night and when I wake up in the morning, with intermittent prayers throughout the day. I can't think of a better soldier than you to help Henry through this battle. There's a saying that goes: "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a know and hang on!" Love and hugs!

  38. You are just so strong Lana and I admire you so much! And like the saying goes if god put you through this he will get you through this. And he knows that you and your husband are strong enough to make it. Your family is in my prayers stay strong Lana.

  39. Lana, you know what? If I were in trouble, I'd want you in my corner. You are, what Sinatra used to say, a "classy broad." Gutsy too. Did they tell you to put water in the feeding tube also? I remember they said that was important to keep Mom hydrated. I'm hoping it won't be long before we hear of Henry having burgers and pizza (providing he likes them!). Please take care, and know we're out here praying for you both and know that I'm sending sparkles, twinkles, confetti, glitter, pixie dust, hugs and love to you both. God Bless You. And take care.

  40. Oh Miss Lana,
    Bring that kick A** attitude back on when ever you can't face it and anything anymore. I mean it. That is the attitude one must have when faced with tradgey in life. Survivor attitude. Dearest Henry now needs to get his attitude up like yours. The only way I survied 10 years was to be fiesty and God's healing. Praying for a healing.

  41. I am here, with you, and praying for Henry's comfort and recovery.

    Please light a candle for Henry and Lana

  42. Can someone explain to me about the mask? That kind of lost me.
    Thank you

  43. Lana, I am so happy that I checked your blog tonight. I didnt get on yest so missed this post. You are doing so well. I would have thought the same thing about the feeding tube. First I would have thought, "Uh now I have to learn to cook!". You stay strong and remember that you MUST take a little time for yourself. Go into your bathroom and put out all of your pretty prettys and take a look at things that used to make you smile. Put on your mask and have your glass of wine. Unfortunatly, the bloody bandages will still be there after you are finished. Stay strong gorgeous Lana! You will get through this. My thoughts and prayers are as always with you and Henry! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Until tomorrow...

  44. Lana, it made me so proud to see my name on your blog, and humbled in that I could have added one little second of some kind of distraction to your life right now. If anything I have ever gone through or said or done has given you any strength whatsoever, then the journey was worth it. Stay strong, some day I'll be painting your face in person while you and I and Henry sit and talk about the days that were tough and were well survived.

  45. All I can say is we're all still rooting for you & your love! When you feel a little tired and haggard as your dragging him through, think of everyone pulling you to pull him through all this.
    Praying for him :*

  46. Every affliction comes with a message
    from the heart of God...

    "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now
    I have kept thy word. It is good for me that
    I have been afflicted; that I may learn your
    statutes." Ps 119:67,71

    Its all about God, Lana. Am praying you run to
    Him and rest in His peace, rest and hope.


  47. Dearest Lana, You and Henry are in my thoughts and prayers daily. With much love and hugs too,~Marilyn

  48. AMEN Lana!!
    You and that Sweet Man will be in my Prayers. Keep strong sweetie:)
    ((hugs))xxx ~ Lorrie

  49. Lana and Henry:

    Still thinking of you. Sending hugs and prayers.


  50. The warrior angels for Henry are NFL linebacker, kick butt, get outta my way cancer angels who will hold the line.
    For you Lana are steel magnolia, beautiful, sweet strong angels who are beside you every step of the way.
    We continue to surround you both with prayers for strength and healing.


  51. My niece has spent all of her 11 years of life being fed by a tube. It was very difficult for my sister at first, but this process is what has saved her daughter's life. It's a blessing that people can receive nourishment this way and I pray that your husband will be able to put on the much needed weight which will help make him stronger. He is truly blessed to have you because you are his angel.


  52. Dearest Lana and Henry, Just a few lines to let you both know you are very much in my thoughts and prayers. Lana, you are a remarkably strong lady with enough strength for both of you although you may not feel this at times. Henry, you will get through this because you have one amazing lady there as your wife, pushing and defying everything negative that comes your way. That is what I pray for and continue to pray for, that the two of you FIGHT this b@%&*@d and come through a big bit tired, a big bit bruised but DAMNED WELL NOT OUT!!!!! Warm hugs your way, both of you. Leyla xxxooo

  53. Dearest Lana & Henry,

    Thinking of you both and praying day and night for you to come out through the other side healthy and happy. Keeping fighting. Just keep thinking that the fighting time will be short compared to the lifetime you have ahead of you.

    Love & Hugs. . . Vickie

  54. Sending you both love and prayers. Hang in there! Easy to say, harder to do. But I know you can do it!
    Love Charlene

  55. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Sending love, hugs, and many prayers.


  56. I like the others had no idea what happened to you. I don't always watch YouTube. I wondered where the funny videos from Lana were. I was so shocked when I saw you video. I just cried. I came to your blog and read through each post from 6/11. I've just been sobbing for you both. Henry sounds like a wonderful man. He has a real treasure in you. Everything your going through is just a horrible shock. I'm sure you've read how you have to be strong. It's tough but someone has to do it. Thank you God that your able to care for him. You never know what strengths you have until your slapped upside the head. It will be just routine after awhile. Just plodding along fighting for your husbands life. He's a strong man who will get his mental strength back eventually. There's more people out here that are caring and sweet than the horrible person at the blood clinic. Take in all the love and prayers you can. Don't be proud and try to go it alone. Let people help you. You need all your strength for your husband. You've been through hell before in your youth. I was always told that if your life is horrible on Earth that in Heaven it will be wonderful. Your reward are in Heaven. It's hard to think of that. I will keep you both in my prayers. Miracles do happen. Never give up hope. Even though your life is surrounded by pain and illness now your love and humor still shines through your writing. Your posts are so well written. My hearts just aches for you both. God bless you Lana & Henry. (((hugs)))

  57. Lana and Henry...words cannot express how we all feel for you both. Look towards the heavens for God is our strength. Know that many are here for you with love and support and open arms! xoxo

  58. Lana~

    Sending you love and prayers today. Prayers that never cease and love that is transfused right from my heart into yours. I am always thinking about you....never stops even for a minute!


  59. Lana and Henry -

    So much love and never ending prayers are sent your way from a fellow Hoosier to the north. May you find some comfort knowing that so many walk with you in spirit on this journey. Please find the strength to keep fighting!

    XOXO - Michelle

  60. Hey guys, I'm still here, lit another candle and said some more prayers, I wish I could be there in person to help. Love you Lana,


    Please light candles for Lana and Henry

  61. Hey pretty lady, are you alright? Thinking of you! Connie

  62. Dearest Lana,

    If I lived near you I would be there in a heartbeat so I could help you cook the meals. You are so wonderful and lovely, and I can imagine such a huge pillar of support to your husband, I wish I could help. In times like this you need someone who can take care of the little things, so you can take care of your heart, and take care of your husband. As you always say, time is precious, and I wish there was a way I could help you spend more time with your husband, and less time worrying over little things like cooking. I don't know if you can afford it (and I know it's none of my business if you can), but you could hire someone to help out with the house and the food, or maybe have some family come to stay? Take care of yourself beautiful lady, you are a truly astounding person, and an inspiration. I wish your husband health, and my thoughts are with you both. We all love you, and if there is anything we can do for you, lets us know. <3

  63. Sending Prayers, Hugs & Love to You & your Husband. So much of what you are writing reminds me of my Father's battle with esophageal cancer. Stay strong...cancer is a monster but monsters can slain!!

  64. Dearest Lana and Henry, Just another little message to remind you both of how much you are loved and that our prayers for you continue. I'm hoping so very much that Henry will start to feel stronger with the extra calories going in. Feeding tubes are not the nicest way to get nourishment, no one will argue with that, but the most important thing is that Henry is getting the nourishment he needs. You are a strong cookie Lana, keep up the fight. Much love to you both, Leyla xxxooo

  65. Sending you both love and prayers and very positive healing thoughts! Stay strong you can do this!!!

  66. You are a beautiful warrior. My thoughts are with you, along with all of the love and support I can offer. Your spirt is encouraging. I am happy so many people are fighting with you. xxx

  67. My dear brother just passed away this morning from pancreatic cancer. I am pulling extra hard for your husband to stay in the game Lana.

  68. Australian wine? Lana, I knew there was a reason I loved you, and it wasn't just cause you're from Indy and that's home to me! Listen, I am a serious pray-er, and I'm praying for you both. What matters in times like these is that there are people to hold you up when you can't stand, and that is what praying is. The same God that hears me and you and others loves you and Henry more than we could know. It will be all right. God is in control. xoxoxoxox


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