Thursday, September 29, 2011

Today, I Am Scarlett O'Hara Again...

Today is the day.
We have been walking around this house these last few days as nervous as two long-tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs. 
So scared.
So worried. Praying and asking God and the doctors to give good news.
All of you (my little heartbeats) have been so wonderful and diligent.
So kind and supportive. We are no longer strangers. How can we be?
You were here with us thru this fight. 
Pushing. Reading my words.
Praying.
I love you.
We both do.


We arrive at the oncologists office 5 minutes ahead of time. As I exit the car and slam the door behind me, I tell my husband...

"When we return to this car, we will be two completely different people. Our lives are about to change directions. Remember that as we climb back in to go to go on our way."
His look says it all. Kind of a "Oh Crap" look.
We enter the building arm in arm much as we did as we walked down the aisle of our cathedral after saying "I Do" at our wedding.


Both of us have been waffling at what the results of the scan will be.
One second... 
It's going to be All Clear.
The very next half second... 
It's going to be devastating news.
We check in and sit in the waiting room. 
Time clicks by. 
My heart beat quickens each time a new patient is called in. We sit and memories of radiation and chemo slip thru my mind. OUT! Those days were so grim and cold. Today is for positive not memories of painful treatments.
We are finally called.
We pass the oncologist in the hall. 
He hugs us both in a warm bear-hug.
Wait. 
Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
We are put into a holding room to wait some more.  We try to analyze everything. 
"Did he hug us because he knows we need to go choose funeral attire or did he hug us because he is about to give us happy news?" My husband asks me.
"Good grief, stop that. He hugged us because he ...."
My mind goes off that cliff.


The door opens and the doctors smiling face enters.
We both move the very edge of our seats.
He begins to ask random, mundane health questions.
"Get to the point. The Bottom line! Enough with the chit chat." I want to get right in his face and yell.
We've been waiting 6 days for this. 
Finally, his words.
I melt.


All looks Clear.
You are in Partial Remission.


Come back in a month for another CT Scan, a Flex Scope, and a PET Scan in 2 months and we will know more. We can then see if it has spread or if it is all dead. Most of the tumors are gone but some are there and I hope inactive."


Enough said! 
We Gone.
In my mind, we are out the door and escaping this place like a 2nd grader when she hears the bell ring for recess. RUN! School's out!
Freedom! Escape.
Back to the safety of our car and away from this place!


Not so fast, lady.
What the heck is "Partial Remission?
Isn't that somewhat like saying you are Kind of Pregnant?
Just like Scarlett O'Hara would do, I pick up my handbag and practically skip out the door.  Fiddle dee dee.
"We'll think about that tomorrow."

98 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8JdYkikEX0

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  2. dont think about the ins and outs just enjoy the moment sweetheart, because you just got the GOOD news we've all been praying for. now go ahead and have a month of bliss and when that has passed you can worry about it some more if you have to!
    Big hugs for you sweetie,
    love jen xx

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  3. I have been waiting for some kind of update from u all day! I nearly threw up when I saw your link on twitter, I was so scared for you guys.
    And now I am so so happy for you, today is a good day, don`t worry about tomorrow. Now I will skip to bed

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  4. Praise God! I am so happy for you both! I have been praying for healing and peace for him and you. So happy for ya'll!!

    Lots of hugs,
    Candace

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  5. Lana, I am so happy for you and Henry! I say that partial remission means that you are almost there to full remission. Things are still healing and killing off those tumors. Today is a day for celebration dear lady. I will keep you and Henry in my heart and keep praying for you both. Love and great big hugs. . .

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  6. EEEEEeeeeeee..whew....exhale........and thank God!

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  7. Thank you Jesus!!! I couldn't read this fast enough :) Today has been a great day for us both. I found out about my biopsy that my renal cancer was caught in it's early stage and it was a non aggressive cancer :) Of course I will have to do regular testing but can't complain. If I could (due to the surgery)I would do a happy dance for Henry and you! Much love!

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  8. Thanks GOD ....
    Today when I woke up ..I was waiting for this .. good news ..please good news ...
    Amem !!!

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  9. Oh Lana!! I am so happy for you guys! Whew! I couldn't help my tears flowing with joy for you! Thank God for answer to prayers. He is so faithful. Have a special night with the love of your life...enjoy and relax and embrace this precious moment. Love and hugs and praises from your cyber friend from Texas!
    Sandee

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  10. yes I was waiting on your news. My main hope is that Henry is feeling better. So many of your readers would have had moments like these. We are all in this human lottery together. lana you have given a lot of joy to people at different times and you have united a lot of us in compassion I admire you. Hope you can organize some enjoyable pass times for you and Henry while he is gaining his strength.

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  11. I thought about you about a couple hours or so ago. I had a nice feeling you would recieve good news. Just to be sure I went and lit you a candle. ("You know its like crossing your fingers or something.. just a little extra!")
    I am thrilled by your news *BIG SMILE* AS soon as Henry is feeling a bit better you two better go on a much needed vacation.

    Love you Both

    Melanie = MELZAELF

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  12. I am so happy for you both! I have been on pins and needles all day myself, just waiting for an update. I'm not sure what partial remission is either but I say that is better than no remission at all!!!! Enjoy the next few days to the limit! OMG! I am just sooooo happy to hear this news! I wish I could have been in the hallway for that hug! Congrats to both of you and enjoy every day of it!!
    Peg~

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  13. Lana, take this news, this day, this gift, and run with it. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Bless you both!

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  14. OMG Lana - that's great news! Yeah!!!! Run free!

    I just had a CT scan for a lump my dentist found in my mouth, I was thinking of you two when I was in the waiting room bargaining with God. The doctor said he was "unimpressed" with the lump! Yippeee! That means no MRI for now and come back in 3 weeks! I'll see you on the playground!!!

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  15. Dear Lana, What wondrous, glorious news!!! Partial remission = In the midst of the journey to healing. My heart is overjoyed for you and Henry. Each and every day I think of you and Henry, and prayers are whispered. You have so many people on this planet who are sending prayers to Our Heavenly Father. He loves you and He loves Henry. And He is answering. We are witnessing God's Tender Mercies as we travel along with you through this journey. God bless you and Henry with every thing you need. With much love,~Marilyn

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  16. Lana and Henry sitting in a tree, happy and smiling and almost cancer free. I get such a child like glee reading your words. Can almost see the twinkle in your eye. Onwards and upwards babes. Congrats to you both x

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  18. I wish you both could take the "infamous goat" back to the country club with a bottle of 30 year old scotch and celebrate! For now just exhale and continue to heal and grow strong Henry; God has most certainly smiled on you both. Now go write the book.....

    My 2 Lhasas

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  19. Samantha (samlsvgs@gmail.com)September 29, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    Big warm hugs to you both. See, happy thoughts pay off. Love.

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  20. Thanks God. So happy for you two - wonderful news, we love you <3

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  21. Oh Lana, I have tears in my eyes. I am SO SO SO happy! Girl, you have fought and you are WINNING =) We are all with you and Henry. <3 Much love

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  22. "Sunshine follows every storm and breaks the dark of every night"


    I Can not express how relieved I am for you both. My heart was beating so fast as I read this, praying for good news. I hope that your husband continues to recover and this will all soon be but a distant memory.

    All my love and continuous positive thoughts,
    Jay from London x

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  23. I'm crying with your words.I am so happy for you both!
    Now, it's time to CELEBRATE. YUPY!!!!

    Xoxo
    Janaina from Brazil

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  24. Thank you God. Thank you.

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  25. Dearest Lana and Henry ~ I will also say EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you two! I will continue to zing healing thoughts and prayers your way.
    Love to you both,
    Mary Sue, with a big smile on her face :)

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  26. Partial or not, it's still amazing news!! You both have come so far and I am POSITIVE you will pull through!! This is so amazing...praise the Lord!! Wishing you all the best :]

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  27. YAY Congratulations!! Finally prayers have been answered. I have been waiting all day to get home to write to you. I saw some of your tweets today and that they were really positive. I have been waiting to read your blog post to hear these words come out of your mouth. Now go spend quality time with the love of your life! You both deserve some happy time together. Don't worry prayers and positive energy is still coming your way! Can't wait for your next "GOOD NEWS, PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED POST!" Give Henry a big hug from me and tell him thats how we roll! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox Kathy : )

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  28. My problems and anxiety just melted away...reading your good news. Love each other like crazy and seize every moment! xxxx

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  29. Lana, when Lance Armstrong's testicular cancer was diagnosed, it had already spread to his brain. But, when actual biopsies were later taken, the brain tumors consisted of only dead cancer cells! The tumors were dead, dead, dead!!!! You two continue to work hard to stay positive; There is more than hope..... there are actual cases out there of completely positive outcomes.

    xxxooxo

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  30. Love you both! Hoping for the best, so very happy for you!

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  31. WooHoo! Thank the Good Lord! That is awesome news! Will continue keeping you both in my prayers!

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  32. Thank you Jesus! Praise God. I prayed for you Lana and Henry. God is so faithful. Keep your big faith in Him. God bless you more.

    -Cha

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  33. Thumbs up...Praise God!
    Time for rest....

    Luv you,

    PomMomLisa

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  34. Hurray!!! The first thing I thought this morning was I hoped we'd have good news from you and Henry. And we did! Oh Lana, I'm so happy for you both. I'm still going to send you extra-strength pixie dust, twinkles, sparkles, confetti, glitter, hugs and love. I'm still going to ask God and His Angels to watch over, protect and heal you both. We've got your back Lana and Henry. Take care...

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  35. Such happy news! Better than Christmas!

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  36. Sigh! Oh Lana I'm so happy for you both! When Henry is feeling better go on a big huge fab vacation together and have fun!
    5995char

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  37. SOOOOO Happy for you!!!!!

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  38. Praise God, Lana!!! I'm so glad you had good news!! My mom and I prayed for you guys right at 10 and I'm sure lots of other people did, too! You both will remain in my thoughts and prayers; much love and happy thoughts!!!!!! Ria

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  39. Lana~
    I rejoice with you and Henry today! I will have to put my dancing shoes on and take a spin! Maybe another cake is in order. Mmmmm!
    My heart is full of gratefulness for your wonderful report and for the precious friends and supporters that have surrounded you both with their love and prayers. You are a blessed lady! ;)
    Kisses~~Karen

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  40. Due to the time difference between the USA and Europe I didn't know when to expect the update and was looking all day if there was news from you guys. I am sooooooooooo extremly happy for you and hope that Henry can start healing now and that he will soon feel better and will be able to eat and have fun again! I admire you both how you got through this ordeal.
    Big big big warm and well meant hug!
    Julia

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  41. So so glad for you! BethlOvesenzo

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  42. OMG! OMG! OMG! I AM SOOOO HAPPY, I AM YELLING, OH SHIT, THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS. OH NO, I SAID SHIT, I AM SORRY, OH NO, I SAID IT AGAIN, BUT I AM SOOO HAPPY!! Ok, I will calm down now, and take the caps lock off. I swear if I really knew where you lived, I would drive all the way from Texas to give you guys hugs. I don't care if it did freak you out, lol. You probably don't remember this Lana, but I had previously written to you a while back saying that I wish you were my big sister, because my sister is horrible, and hates me for some unknown reason. And you were so sweet and wrote me back saying that you would be my big sister. You were so kind, and I needed some kind words that day. Then, much later, I was having another bad day, and watched one of our wonderful videos, and I wrote to you again, telling you how I still wanted you to be my big sister and what an inspiration you were to me. You wrote me back, telling me how much you needed my letter that day, and you were so upset, you couldn't tell me why, but told me to go to your blog. And I did. And the journey began, for you and your much loved husband, and a thousand strangers you met online, because you love skin care and makeup. And we read every word you wrote, we felt Henry's searing pain, and we cried every tear with you. After reading, and to me, sharing this experience with you and Henry, I don't feel like you are strangers. I feel like you are family. I love you Lana, and you are my big sister! Please give Henry, a big hug and kiss for me, and I will still keep you both in my daily prayers. Love, Bridget Mary Ortiz (Vividsmile1 on Youtube)

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  43. I'll take partial remission over "it didn't work" any day. This is great news and it makes me happy. "Great big hugs to you both!!"

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  44. Prayer does work!!! Always keeping you guys in my prayer... Little miracles are coming each day!!! xoxoxo Stay strong Lana

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  45. Thanks God and all the people praying for you. Two years ago I started watchin your videos and laughed my head off. Kiss the doggies and the grandkids and put the do not disturb sign on the front door. Thanks God, jeanette

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  46. Dearest Lana and Henry, I am delighted, so relieved and grateful, so happy....no, ecstatic for this news. A light out of the dark tunnel you and Henry have been pushed into for months!!!! Celebrate you two, CELEBRATE! Partial remission is just that - you are on your way to 'remission proper', please God. Don't think too much about what it means sweetheart, just enjoy this great news. I'm sooooooooo happy for you, for both of you!!! My prayers continue, prayers of gratitude and thanks as well as prayers to keep you both safe. Oh boy, what a great Friday!!!!! Lots and lots of love to you and Henry. Leyla xxxooo

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  47. No one can tell me prayers don't work!!! SO HAPPY for at least a LITTLE good news!!! Love to you both and continued prayers winging your way, too!

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  48. What a great news to hear! I'm so happy for you and your husband. Simply could not be happier~ God bless.

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  49. Hoorayyyyy!!!!!!!
    (I think this summarizes my reaction!!)

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  50. I've been holding my breath to find out how you guys made out. I'm so relieved that it was pretty good news. Enjoy the time and just try not to think about the next test. Much love, Diane

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  51. OMG!!! *tears of joy*
    We can all breath again!
    Lana, I'm so relieved!
    Partial or not, will take it!
    Thank goodness for doctors, medical advances, clinical research & USA, the land of dreams!
    Huge bear hugs for both of you,
    mqs7524

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  52. Thank you Heavenly Father. I have been praying for you and Henry. My husband received a bone marrow transplant last week and so far so good. He has multiple myeloma which came out of nowhere. One day my biggest concern was the next sale at my favorite store and decorating the house. Then bam...cancer. My perspective will never be the same and that's a good thing I suppose. Partial remission? No Doctors for a month? I'll take it in a heartbeat. I'm with you Lana... oh fiddle dee dee.

    With Hope, Faith and Love,
    DeLynn in Dallas

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  53. That's amazing! :o) I am so relieved! Love you both! Hugs. G.

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  54. It's good to read some good news - I hope that this little streak continues :)

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  55. Keep smiling, this is so great considering where you guys started with this monster. Henry is winning, and no wonder with you Lana, and all our prayers, how could he not! Still praying like a madwoman out here. So much love is being spread around your blog, your Youtube, and your Twitter, it is just amazing. Have a great day.

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  56. Thanks be to God! What glorious news. Lana and Henry, all day yesterday I was thinking of you, praying for news such as this. God is good indeed. My prayers continue in celebration and with a new focus, echoing your doctor's hopes. Rejoice!

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  57. So happy to hear the good news. I was about ready to tell you the same thing you were ready to tell the doctor ;-) I'll keep praying that the news gets better. You and Henry just relax and enjoy!

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  58. Praise the lord. I am so happy for Henry and you. Love Lola

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  59. Oh Lana!

    I could not be happier right now! I was sending good thoughts all day. I am so happy for you both!

    Hearts and thoughts,

    Samantha

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  60. Lana, I am so incredibly happy for you. This made my day. I read this while on the phone with someone and about wanted to scream in happiness. My jaw dropped to the floor and I got goosebumps all over. :) Granted this is only partial remission, it is still something to be VERY happy about! Awesome to hear, I hope you guys are as happy as we are for you.

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  61. Oh Lana, I couldn't be happier if I were twins! But don't worry, I won't slack of on the praying one little bit. I hope Henry feels better this weekend, and even if he feels physically crappy, at least he can feel emotionally wonderful. Hope he can start eating again soon, and be able to enjoy a big fat Thanksgiving dinner. Love ya'll!
    floridapossum

    Please continue to pray for Henry and Lana here:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  62. Dear Lana,

    I have been reading your blog and ordeal for a while now. Not commenting because I was at a loss for words. I prayed for you last night and have had you and your husband on my mind the whole day.
    I am very happy to hear there was light at the end of the tunnel. God bless you both. You'll be in my prayers.
    Warmest hugs from the Netherlands,
    Paola
    Ps: your beauty videos always manage to cheer me up and lift my spirits.

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  63. Oh my goodness, my heart jumped when I read the good news! This made my week, so happy for you guys, have fun celebrating!

    Lots of Love from Ireland.

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  64. SUCCESS! Today is a victory well won! I'm thrilled for Henry (and you), I can't even comprehend what it must be like, how frightening, to go through a thing like this. Congratulations Henry, you have your life back today. Thank you, Lana, I praise you for being a good wife and taking care of your beloved man. It's what a good woman would do. Celebrate tonight, have a good night's sleep and you're gonna have an awesome weekend! xox

    Calvikingchick YT

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  65. Dear Lana,
    Purely by accident, I bumped into you on Youtube yesterday. I was browsing the net for information on shoes I cannot afford. Your endearing and guileless presence in your Youtube postings from your bathroom about shoes, make-up, etc.,etc., compelled something in me to pursue finding about more about you...my internet search about lanaindiana allowed me to piece together the puzzle pieces of the life of a woman who I came to find is indeed an iron butterfly...that's you Lana. From your frothy postings about girlie-girl stuff, to the gritty postings about you and your dear husband's battle with the big "C" one thing is a constant...your strength. I'm sure there already have been and probably will be days when you doubt that you have the strength to go on, but you will prevail Lana. And, as the pages of your life turn into chapters, you will come to see that all of your "heartbeats" (friends) across the globe have learned by your example how to embrace the fluffy in life and the gritty in life with equal tenacity and passion. God bless you Lana and all of those you cherish. Scamp - Indiana

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  66. Thank god! Congratulations!!! I hope Henry recovers fast!

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  67. Thank you Jesus! Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend. Love, Brenda

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  68. I welled up.
    Congratulations!!

    I am SO happy for you.
    This is it!
    This is the start of getting your happiness and lives back again!!

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  69. Delighted with your good news!! Thanks for all the joy and laughs and wisdom you bring in your videos. It's God or karma or as you'd say IT IS WHAT IT IS!!

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  70. So glad to hear this news but this is partly what we've been praying for right? Some good news. Maybe you and hubby can now breathe a bit more easily now. I'm sure that others, like me, continue to pray for and believe in even more positive news and healing down the line. I hope you both have a relaxed, glorious and blessed weekend!!

    Wanda

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  71. Every day is a gift...take each day and live it for all it's worth...it's all we can reasonably ask for.

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  72. Dear Sweet Lana and Henry.
    My eyes are all watery writing this. When I read the results I held my heart and gasped out of joy and relief. I am so happy for you both and I pray that the healing continues. Positivity plays such a major role in this disease and Dr's don't know it all. Henrys Mom is up in heaven helping him even more than she could while she was here, which is a wonderful thing for him, that she can be his Angel when he really needs one.
    Sending you prayers
    Stephanie

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  73. Good, super, wonderful fantastic news! Go Henry and Lana! Super sweet news!,,,

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  74. Fantastic news Lana! Take some time and celebrate with Henry, today your glass is full with champagne! Warm hugs for you both!

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  75. Wonderful news :) Love and Blessings to you both xxx

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  76. Oh Lana, I have big smiles for you today!

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  77. I have tears in my eyes. PRAISE GOD!

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  78. Praise the Lord and pass the potatoes!!!!!!!! I agree, one day at a time and this one is glorious, simply glorious!!!! I am so thankful of think of you and Henry every day. I am so sorry for the pain he still has and will pray it also goes away. Yes, we will take partial but am imagining the full. love, Jeanie xoxo

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  79. That is such wonderful news, we all are praying for you!

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  80. Hi Miss Scarlet,
    I am now picturing you and Henry as Rhett and Scarlet lol. Love that movie!
    Thanks be to God. He is powerful and he hears prayer.
    Bless the both of your hearts you have been through so much.
    I feel happy cancer free days are ahead for you.
    Love, Debbie

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  81. I saw your video pop up in my subscriptions on YT and was so hoping to read news like this here on your blog! So happy to hear that you have some good news! Fan- fing - tastic!!!! Doing a little happy dance for you and Henry here :)
    -Rachel

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  82. Amazing news!!! I do believe in the power of prayer and positive energy - so will be sending some more for you and Henry. Hope he can now take time to recover and heal from the treatment and that you can both reconnect on a non-health related level... because when you are in that carer and patient role... it all becomes about that. It's nice to be able to get off the treatment/hospital train for a while.

    xx

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  83. Partial remission...better than hearing that it's spread and stronger than ever. It's a small miracle, and you two should cherish this time. And one your Henry's feeling strong enough, take the cruise or vacation that you've always longed to take. I hope things only get better for you two lovebirds.

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  84. I missed this post and for that, I am so sorry. It made me teary...because you have a month of loving, living, giving, hoping, singing and being simply with each other and family and looking into each others eyes. I am so grateful to God for giving you both this time.

    Escape us, escape it, escape and run away for a month. I am going to put aside ten minutes tonight and just thank God for giving you two a small break. Even if I don't understand Him with my limited mind and minuscule intelligence, I know, regardless of how I feel, that He has a plan.

    You are dearly loved by those who know you both in real life and here, on the net. Run away fast.

    F**k cancer.

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  85. DEAREST LANA, JUST SAW YOUR LATEST VIDEO AND THOUGHT,"SHE'S BACK!" THE OLD/NEW LANA IS BACK TO MAKE US LAUGH,CRY, WISH AND DREAM. THE NEWS IS UNBELIEVEABLY FANTASTIC! DON'T WE HAVE AN AWESOME GOD?!EVERY MOMENT, EVERY SECOND THANK HIM FOR GIVING YOU YOUR HENRY FOR ONE MORE DAY. DON'T WASTE ANY TIME. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST. LOVE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING. LIVE, LIVE, LIVE!!! LOTS OF LOVE, NONI/GLLITTERKID

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  86. I read along with trepidation. Thank God Henry got good results. God does answer prayers. I continue to pray for Henry every time I have a spare moment. I know it's awful but you have to live from test to test. I pray the good results continue. Relax is a good idea. Do some more shopping! I was thrilled to see your video. Your skin is looking amazing. God bless you both & may he continue to hold you both in his arms.

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  87. Oh Lana, It's such great news!!

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  88. Oh Lana, I'm so happy for boh you and Henry. Such wonderful news! My thoughts and prayers have been with you both on this journey. Hugs to you both.

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  89. Dearest Lana, Just another hug and to let you know that you and Henry are in my heart and my prayers throughout each and every day. Much love to you both. Leyla :) xxxooo

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  90. Lana and Henry, this is wonderful news. I just knew the good news was coming and I know there will be more good news to follow. Still praying like heck for the two of you. Stay strong, hang tough! Aloha!

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