Thursday, October 6, 2011

Take This Cancer and Shove It!

Thursday 
*sigh*
Not much happening here in this 
cancer-rabbit-hole we fell into.
I like it like that.


My husband still can't sip water... Very well anyway.
Food? Forget about it. Can you imagine not eating even ONE bite of food for FOUR whole months? I can't. 
(Food is my Friend)
He says water goes down but he's not sure if it stays there or if it's simply spit. So... I gave him a small amount of orange Gatorade to drink.
It went down and mostly 50% stayed down. Being orange-colored helped to sort out what it was he was spitting out. 
He says he still feels something back there gagging him if/when he does swallow. Hmmm. 
Is it a tumor?
Is it dead cancer?
Is it scar tissue?
Who knows, but he refuses to go see the Ear Nose and Throat doctor and I can see his point... to a point. All of my nudging and nagging get me no where.
(I've even threatened to use the Company Credit Card and go on an extravagant  Shopping Spree again... Still nope.)
He says "Why test what you won't treat."
He just simply does not  LOOK like a man with cancer any longer. 


The dull grey coloring is gone. He has those pretty flushed cheeks and ruddy complexion back that made me fall in love with him.
He is no longer losing weight. I feed him every 3 hours 6 times a day. 6 cans of Isosourse canned liquid a day via his feeding tube.
He no longer coughs up blood.
He no longer has that raspy "hot potato" voice.
He is no longer so fatigued he can't move one step in front of another.
He has even been going to the office 2-3 hours a day.
You tell me.
Does that all sound like a sick and dying man?
No symptoms~~ no cancer, right?
So, we wait. 
The PET Scan is scheduled for the end of November. That will tell the true story.
The truth, The whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
It's still too early to do the PET Scan now as the radiation is still inside his body and he would light up like a nuclear reactor.
So... As I said, we wait.
Waiting has never been my strongpoint but we are learning to cope.
Life goes on and time waits for no man... or woman.


 (Where did I put that Credit Card anyway?)


PS. I noted that Steve Jobs passed away.
RIP Steve Jobs.
He had the same rare Neuroendocrine cancer my husband has.... 
I feel a Scarlett O'Hara moment coming on again......

42 comments:

  1. You are such a strong person. My little brother got radiation for a tumor and his throat closed completely and he never swallowed food or water again. Have your hubby see the Dr. I know it can be to much but be strong. My prayers for your family.

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  2. I'll keep him in my prayers!! And u too !!! As much he is suffering u are too! <3

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  3. So glad to hear Henry is getting some of his self back. Praying he continues to get stronger. Hope you find that credit card so you can get some shopping therapy :) xo

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  4. I am so happy to hear that Henry is getting back to his old self. Even going back to work, yeah, that is a very good sign. I will still be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of love & Big Hugs...Vickie

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  5. Sweet Lana, strong lady. I am so f..... proud of you. Woman are strong!
    xoxoxo Julia

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  6. Lana I am very glad to hear that Henry is getting back to his old self. That is quite exciting news. Now of course I am no Doctor but, I would assume that thing choking him is just because thats where it was radiated and its still sore and healing. I have had a couple really bad sore throats that hurt every time I swallowed and it kinda felt like there was something in there too. (I remember only drinking warm tea and it took me ages to drink a full cup) Now what I am saying is that was just a sore throat... I could not imagine having under gone all that Henry has gone through in that area.


    <3
    I will continue to pray for you and Henry.
    *Ear scratches to Izzy & Paris*

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  7. Lana~
    So glad to hear that Henry is looking and feeling better. Take joy in every moment....it is the way all of us should live. You are an incredible lady! You both remain in my heart and in my prayers.
    Hugs and Kisses~~Karen

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  8. I'll take this post over any other one('xept the last one)any time! :-)
    You are talking shopping again?!?
    Poor man has no choice but to get better!
    Good choice!
    Much love to you & yours,
    xx
    mqs

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  9. Lana...my stepfather had the tube for several months and had some physical therapy to help him learn how to swallow again. I'm sure each person is different but it may be an avenue to try....still praying for you...patti

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  10. You are such a strong loving woman Lana. I know it's hard, but try to keep your chin up. Much love, thoughts and prayers all the way from the UK xx

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  11. Hi Lana. I'm so happy that there is a little glimpse of normal life creeping back and that Henry is slowly but surely looking like his former self. Maybe you should take that credit card and the two of you go on an amazing vacation together. Take care. Xx Kelly in NZ.

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  12. So glad that Henry is feeling slightly better than he has and pray that things continue to improve for him. Looking forward to the day you say you are out shoppin for an outfit for a dinner date at the best restaurant in town with your man. Love you :0) xxxJoolsxxx

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  13. SO glad to hear the news and that Henry is getting glimpses of his old self back. I'm sure going to work will help greatly. I would imagine his throat is still healing and can understand why he would not want another doctors appt. but I would say if he is still having trouble when they do the pet scan he should go and see an ENT specialist. Could just be a bit of scar tissue that needs to be removed. After all we learned that ignoring
    things is not the best course of action.
    Still sending prayers and love.

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  14. Sounds like all the prayers are WORKING! YAY :) Love to you and to Henry! Things ARE going to continue to improve. I just know it!

    XXXOOO

    Moya

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  15. You really are a strong person. I know you probably get sick of hearing that to the point where your brain just screams "no I'm not, I'm just fighting because I don't know what else to do!" But the strong stay and fight and the weak run. I'm not sure I have your fortitude but to quote a fav song lyric; "when we meet, what we're afraid of We find out what we're made of" So there you are. May the good Lord bless and keep you both.

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  16. Dearest Lana, I think of you each and every day and night. You both remain in my prayers. It sounds as if Henry is going to be cancer free when he is tested in November. I can totally understand your apprehension and worry though. Patience isn't my strong suit either. Lana, You are so strong and courageous! You are a true inspiration to everyone. It is my belief that Henry has made it through this because of you, and his great love for you. Henry probably even asked God to allow him to stay on this earth a while longer so he could be with you. Henry wants to take care of you. You are both amazing people. Have a great weekend, Lana. Go ahead, and begin celebrating your upcoming birthday. You deserve lots of fun shopping!!!! Hugs,~Marilyn

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  17. Hey Lana! Hang in there. I shared before my husband and i were in a four yr. battle with prostate cancer. What was supposed to be a simple fix...did not turn out that way. So last spring we treated it yet again...51 radiation treatments plus surgery...then...the waiting. We waited from May to September for the radiation to subside so they could re-scan. He began to feel better and get back his energy, but as September approached, we felt like a big black cloud was approaching...

    Then, the magic words we waited four long years to hear..."No evidence of cancer!"

    So see...it can happen. Enjoy this time, and try not to look on the horizon too much. Enjoy those flushed cheeks and ability for Henry to work...what a miracle! I wish with all my heart I could buy you lunch and go shopping with you...what fun we would have...especially with that credit card...LOL.

    We are rooting for you both!
    XXOO...HUGS

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  18. Lana ~ So glad to hear Henry is better... not completely back to normal, YET, but improving. I continue to wish, hope, and pray for a complete recovery.
    Love to you both,
    Mary Sue

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  19. glad to hear that things are getting a little better. I felt so bad he could not be there for his mother's funeral. I know she understands and now can be with him more in spirit, with love.

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  20. Dearest Lana,

    In such a situation I don't think anyone can be patient and that's understandable. Just hang onto the fact that there is A LOT of progress here. Ok, Henry is not eating 'normally' but it's an improvement to the last few months. He obviously feels stronger mentally and physically when he goes into work, that's great! I'm so happy for you Lana, for both of you. The power of prayer and hope must never be underestimated and my prayers continue each and every day for you two beautiful people. I love you very much. Leyla :) xxxooo

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  21. YAY!!!!!

    So glad to hear this!

    The gagging could just be a swollen uvula.

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  22. It must be heartening to see him gaining weight, regaining color, looking better...you can exhale for now, I hope you are able to have a few laughs and enjoy some moments together. Still think of you every day, hoping the future holds many years ahead for both you lovebirds! xox Calvikingchick YT

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  23. You can come stay in my new world if you want...today in Chrissy world there is no such thing as cancer! We run around in tutus with sparkly tiaras on, everyone has a shiatsu puppy or a Scottish fold kitten, we buy anything we want (especially if it has sparkles on it) We stay here and do what ever we want and enjoy each other until something makes us HAVE to leave it. If you guys make your own world, I will make you cookies so you can REALLY enjoy it.

    Revel in this time. Im so hapy for you both to have five minutes to breath,

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  24. Just seen this post today...thinking of you both always....

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  25. i will continue to pray for you until Henry has a diagnosis of full remission. I am so happy for all the progress he has made. I hope that he becomes strong enough so that you two can take some time away to relax in your Florida home. Take in the fresh ocean breeze and listen to silence, watch the dolphins, sunsets etc...... Many hugs and love to you both. Faith, Hope & Love, Anita

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  26. Sending my thoughts and prayers and many hugs to you and Henry. xoxo Jeanie

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  27. Don't forget: there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

    So even when you feel like the darkness is going to engulf you, look for the tiny bits of light streaming in.
    I am so glad things are going better for you and your family.
    Keeping you in my prayers.

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  28. Still praying for you and hubby.Stay strong and enjoy each other every minute of the day.

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  29. I'm so glad that Harry is coming back.

    I thought Steve Jobs had pancreatic cancer.

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  30. ^^^^
    Steve Jobs had pancreatic cancer but it was the same histological Neuroendocrine cancer which is what her husband has.
    Neuroendocrine cancers are very aggressive and extremely rare.

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  31. Hello Lana and Henry:

    Thinking of you.

    MrsSuze51

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  32. evaevaeva923 (missevamarie)October 12, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    Sending tons of love and ESP to you and Henry. It's so good he's getting color and vitality back. Stay positive and strong. So so good to see your beautiful face back on youtube and hope to see you again real soon. Love you Hugs xxx Eva

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  33. That's wonderful news to hear. I'm so pleased that Henry is doing better. I know the feeling of living from day to day. Always waiting for the shoe to drop. Have faith that Henry will continue to heal. Your still both in my prayers. I haven't been able to post any comments in a week. I don't know what was wrong with Google or all the rest of the places you can post with. Anyway it's working now. God bless you both. (((hugs)))

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  34. Aww girl you know I am thrilled to hear great news. Just lovely that Henry has been able to get back a bit to being his old self. Try your best to enjoy your time together and not fill it all with worry and dread. The end of November will come whether you worry or not. Wish I was there to go with you to just shop til we dropped! Much love and best wishes to you both-Always!

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  35. Dear Lana:
    after watching you favorites video I decided to log on here and read how your husband is, I'm very happy he is getting better and i cant relate to the pain your going but we are all here for you. Even though im only 21 years old I would like to offer my friendship you have taught me many things and not only in your beauty channel but on here too thanks for making me look life in a different way. I'm going to keep praying for you and your wonderful husband! I hope you have a great day/night/week/year. Much love Elizabeth

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  36. Here's hoping for good news - about time you had some...

    Hugs and kisses

    Suzi

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  37. It is good to hear that you are seeing signs of normalcy return, even if in small doses. God is great! Aloha!!

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  38. Oh dear Lana, my brains are scrambled and I posted in the wrong thread again, so I brought it over. Sorry

    I'm still here, and even though I haven't been able to post every day, know that not a day goes by that I don't pray for you and Henry. It's really important that you know I am always here for you and and the both of you are in my thoughts many times each day. You are an inspiration to anyone who sees how you are handling the weight of the world and doing it with grace, humor, and especially style! :)

    Okay ladies, lets get those candles lit and prayers said:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI
    October 15, 2011 10:08 PM

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  39. My Dear Lisa i pray to God that you read this message, my mom reads alot of healing books due to some health problems that she has , i was talking to her about your husband and she told me about this book is called Healing the Gerson Way ( defeating cancer and other chronic diseases. and is by Charlotte Gerson with Beata Bishop. I hope this help there is aclinic with very good results in San Diego CA and i hpoe this helps a little and if you need a plce to stay here in CA mi casa es tu casa. love always Vivian

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  40. I heave read your story and it brings tears to my eyes. Why do bad things happen to good people? I pray to God that he will let you keep your husband. You may not feel strong but you are! You haven't ran away, you are facing it. Much love and many, many prayers, Sharni xoxo

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  41. Still praying for you and your Honey dear Lana. Keep your eyes on Jesus who is our Healer. Thank you so much for keeping us updated. hugs: Deanna

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