Monday, August 15, 2011

Harm

OMG OMG OMG
Monday
10:00 a.m. 
Radiation Clinic

Today, while waiting the 45 minutes for Henry to complete his radiation treatment for the day (5 more to go. Yippeee.) there was a couple waiting on the ugly hard chairs in the corner of the clinic.  I noticed them right away as the automatic door slid shut behind us with a whoosh as we entered the clinic. 
Why is that so remarkable? Why was this couple so special to catch my eye? This man was probably 45 years old and at first glance, I knew. 

I knew he had the same kind of disease my husband has. 
His neck was distorted and jawbone was gone.
His face was scarred and to some would say scary.  
I was like a 3 year old kid and couldn't keep my eyes from slinking over to that corner, not to stare but to get up the nerve to ask what and how and why and.....
Our friends, the one that has brain cancer, walked in and I saw my opportunity to speak to this couple fading away. 
We had a few pleasant words of weekend activities and his progress with his brain cancer but I know I was being rude in my distraction. My scope of attention was not on them but on the man with the neck surgery that sat in the corner.
Time was slipping away.
My opportunity was passing.

I finally excused myself and walked over to the corner and introduced myself.
You have to understand one thing about a Cancer Clinic. 
No one cares or feels invaded by questions. We are all in this exclusive private club that requires a stamped membership card. A membership that no one wants to be in but we all are. It's almost an unspoken pact that we can share and explain and ask questions of each other and their cancer.  It's almost expected somehow. It's part of the Club Rules.
Sharing is Caring.

How do you approach and ask a disfigured person the details of his pain? How do you ask him to tell you things you have to date only read about on the internet? This was like being in a foreign country and finally seeing another American to speak to. A sense of camaraderie in a sick twisted way.
I began.
I explained my husband just went in for his treatment and has stage IV High Grade 4 throat cancer and I noticed his surgery scars.
This gentleman was amazing. He answered every question I asked. He explained the hows and whys and what to expect.
His wife was with him and explained to me the trauma of seeing her husband after a 16 hour surgery to dissect her husbands neck and throat and the horror she felt when she saw him in recovery. He told me about the stares and questions he gets from the public. 
After a 20 minute conversation, he told me why he is here. 
Why he is back in the radiation clinic?

You see, you can only have ONE series of treatments of radiation to your neck and throat. The spinal cord is so close to the area they are radiating.  I can see the lines of demarkation where the radiation is burning and searing my husbands skin. It is like a severe sunburn all around to the back. 
I follow the burn lines around to the back. There is about an inch space along the backbone that has no burns but wow, they are so close. Too much and you could be paralyzed for life. *sigh*
This young man's cancer had returned.
It was back with a vengeance.
It was now in his lung and bones and brain.  He said he had found a huge tumor on his back that morning. A new one.
Radiation at this point for him is palliative. Palliative meaning only to prolong life for a short time and keep the patient as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.
Have you ever wanted to hug a complete stranger? Have you ever had your heart break from someone else's sad sad story?

My questions were answered.
My answers were already answered by husband at the beginning of this horrible journey. He refuses the surgery 100%.
I have been asked by so many from the beginning.
"Why not do surgery at the beginning of this nightmare and just cut the tumor OUT?"
That sounds so easy. 
No risk of spinal cords and burns and pain. No chemo. No nausea.  None of that.
The reason we can't go that route?
When a patient has a cancerous tumor, the surgeon must be able to cut it out and the margins beside it. The margins are all of the surrounding areas nearby. The surgeon will cut out the tumor and keep at it and at it, cutting until he gets clear tissue and then more to be assured all of the tumor is gone. You must have good margins to remove a tumor. 
In your throat and neck, that area is so very small and tight that it is nearly impossible to get those margins.
My husband not only has a huge tumor in the back of the throat but many large tumors in the neck and lymph.  Impossible.
Once the tumors have shrunk I just know the doctors will want to discuss that as an option.  Surgery.

Take out the tongue, voice box, thyroid, jaw bones, muscles, teeth, omg. I can't even write more of that thought process.


I went to see my grandkids yesterday. Three little medicine balls of fun they are. 
My son prays with them every night before bed. He asks God to keep his family safe and to keep harm away from his family and his home.
My middle Grand daughter, Kennedi asked with big blue eyes wide, 
"Daddy, Who is Harm and why is he coming to OUR house?"
I pray to keep harm away from all of YOU. 
All of you that are here with us on this journey.  We are amazed and feel so blessed by all of your thoughts and love and prayers.
These days I write my blog and can not see for the tears flooding my eyes. I write it to put my heart and thoughts out there for my family and friends. All of you. You push me. You push us both. I feel you there. We both do. I love you.

Dear God, 
Please keep harm away from all of us. Please keep harm away from my old friends and all of my new friends
 and all of our families.
Amen









106 comments:

  1. Like I have told you so many times, I pray for you, Henry and your family everyday. I know all about the card carrying club you speak of as my husband had his kidney removed in January, because of cancer and now it looks like it might have spread to his lymph glands. Take care dear Lana, and know that we are all here praying for a miracle.

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  2. Dear Lana I hope you have stopped and looked at just how amazing you are. You are leading this fight and Henry is so blessed to have you fighting for him. I pray every day that God will give you a miracle and I will continue that prayer I do believe in them And I know that so many people love you it is just amazing how many people in this world you have touched. If you ever need to talk/cry/scream you have my number. We are all in Your and Henry's corner . I know God hears us. I am sending you a Big Hug and my love. You mean so very much to me. Love and Prayers ...Susie ❤

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  3. Lana and Henry,
    I'm not the most spiritual of people, but I do believe in the power of prayer. I've been thinking and praying for you and Henry everyday since that very 'first' blog post. Really, what else is there? Although I've experienced struggle, loss and heartache, I cannot imagine how difficult this particular journey is. I've said it before and I'll say it again...you guys are so inspirational. I read about how you're handling this struggle. About your love and fear for Henry. Your compassion for others. Your heart is so big and full. I know it's aching right now, but please always remember that you both are loved, thought about and prayed for each and every single day.
    -Emily

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  4. Dear Lana ~ Thank you for saying a sweet prayer for all of us. When I read your blog posts, I just can't imagine......
    I send you both lots of love,
    Mary Sue

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  5. Damn cancer anyway.. Just found out that another dear friend has been diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xxoo

    Mindy/keishalyn1 - youtube.

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  6. Hugs and prayers, miracles happen every day,, thats what i pray for for you and your family.

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  7. Yes to wanting to hug a complete stranger and Yes to having had a broken heart from someone else's sad story-many, many times. Amen sweetheart! Wishes of love and peace to you and Henry! xoxo

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  8. Dear God, Please keep any more harm away from Lana, Henry, and their families. I wish that I could hug you and tell you that everything is going to be alright and get better. I pray for you and Henry everyday and ask God to make him well. You are never far from my mind. Whenever I am having a bad day I think about what you are going through and realize that my day really isnt that bad. Keep up the strength. It will be worth it in the end. Until next time my friend. xoxoxoxoxo Love Kathy

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  9. Dear Lana,
    You are an amazing woman,strong,gutsy and so vibrant and beautiful on the inside and outside.We are all praying for Henry. I am so glad that Henry has you by his side.You wouldn't wish this to happen to your worst enemy. This must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you both.We are all praying for Henry's cancer to be banished forever.
    Stay strong,stay positive Dear,Lana.
    Thank-you for sharing.A trouble shared is a trouble halved. I wish you both all the very best for the future.I really do.
    Sending healing thoughts and love your way.
    Big hugs,Julia xxxx xxxx

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  10. Maybe harm is like a vampire and you just need to hang some garlic at your front door to keep him out. That'll teach the bugger to try invading YOUR house!

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  11. Well I'm glad I found my way back. I wish I had answers or some insight, but I don't. I can only offer my prayers and from time a little knowledge of the medical workings. I will continue to pray for y'all daily, and my thoughts are always with you.

    Please light your candle for Lana and Henry here:
    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  12. Oh Lana, my heart breaks for everyone you talk about. I pray for each and every one of them. I just want to reach through the computer and hug you all. Keeping you and Henry in my prayers. Love to you.

    Kim

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  13. Dearest Lana,

    Your compassion is remarkable, your heart is huge. You have a place in your heart to include us here in your prayers when you have so much to contend with. I love you dear sweet Lana, I love you. I wish I could wrap you both up in a blanket and take you away from all of this ugliness that is cancer. I pray that no further harm comes to Henry and you, that Almighty God hears all of us and grants Henry recovery and alleviates your fears. Strength, courage, patience and hope are your essentials in this battle - you have us all rooting for you. Heart felt wishes to you Lana, warm hugs to you both. Leyla xxxooo

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  14. All I can say to you and Henry is give everything to God. He will take perfect care of you both. He is our ultimate caregiver, our finest relief from all these trials and tribulations. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  15. Dear Lana,

    Tears stream down my face as i read your blog tonight. I feel so sad for you, Henry, your family, friends and for anyone else that has been through cancer. I wish there were something i could do besides come here and write or light a candle for you guys. I pray for healing of your dear sweet Henry Lana. I know how difficult this all is. I have been down the road myself. I have no words to really say how a feel. I never have been very good with words. The only thing i can say is that i know when i went through it one of the things that kept me going was all of the support i had behind me I felt all of those people pushing me and talking to others you had been there. Just know that I am here praying for your Henry. Have you both on my mind and in my heart. Faith, Hope & Love, Anita

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  16. You must have been so scared to see that poor man. That brings it right in your face. Nothing I can do for you but pray for Henry. Your both in my prayers. I pray for Henry to be healed. I pray for you to keep up your strength. I know your hearts breaks for all you see. I also pray a cure for all cancers comes soon. Take care Lana. Hugs to you and Henry.

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  17. Dear sweet Lana,

    I check in on you and Henry several times a week. You both remain in my prayers. I wish I could do more. Thank you for your sweet prayer for all of us. Love, Rockysmom

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  18. Thank you!
    Amen!
    ((hugs))

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  19. You are loved, because you love so much. Cancer sucks. I pray for you and Henry daily.

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  20. Lana, the stories of the people you meet break my heart and certainly put my own problems into perspective. I continue to pray for you both, sending you love and light across the miles. You are an amazing powerhouse, I am in awe of you.

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  21. Dearest Lana,
    We love you and will never stop praying and sending good, positive, healing thoughts to you and Henry every single day!
    Warmly,
    Michele (shelliebill)

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  22. Hello Lana,
    I am a fellow Hoosier and a subscriber. Your videos are fun, educational and so inspiring; I am your age. It is doubtful I will ever be able to afford many of the things you share but that is okay; what you share is much more than material objects. You radiate joy and a great sense of humor and grace (and by golly I have learned how to put my makeup on better than I have in my life!) Just like I cannot afford what I might find in a Vogue magazine; but it is still fun to learn about fashion and dream. I have not been on youtube for a few weeks and about 4 days ago I watched your video and linked to your blog. You commented that all of us are with you. Lana I want you to know that your husband and you have not left me this past week. You have had my prayers and tears and have crept into my thoughts all hours of the day; sitting on the bed, in the bathtub, etc. You can be sure that you are on the minds and hearts daily of hundreds of people just like me. This past year I made daily trips with my mother to the Cancer Center. The only way I know to reach out to you and Henry is with this prayer. I also am Catholic.
    May the peace of the Lord be with both of you.

    Sweet Jesus, the hope of the hopeless and friend of the sick, in this time of uncertainty do I look toward Your boundless love. In Your wounds do I seek refuge that by the blood You shed I might be a new creature, humble and timid yet brave and steadfast. Jesus, I trust in You. I am helpless but with You I have hope. Comfort Henry (and Lana) in his time of need and guard him from harm during his cancer treatment. I beg of you, continue healing him that he might be a shining and undeniable example to his family and friends of Your unending love.

    I ask these things in Your name. Amen.

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  23. You have a lot of nerve. My mother died of cancer. It wasn't in her throat, but she looked very DIFFERENT and lost all her hair. I HATED when people asked me questions about her. You're a nosey old bitch.

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  24. my heart and prayers are being sent to you. Did your husband smoke?

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  25. Dear Lana, what a tremendously poignant post. God bless Kennedi and how she so perfectly summed it up. harm is like a horrible visitor that cannot be let in. Aren't your grand babies so beautiful and full of joy and innocence. I am glad you have them to at least have a few minutes of joy. That poor, dear, kind man in the waiting room. Your questions were not in the least bit out of line. We're all going through our struggles on this planet together. You are a wonderful lady, full of love and concern.

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  26. i think of you and your husband every day lana,im watching my aunty going through cancer,sadly she is terminal,i include you and your husband in my prayers,stay strong lana,sending hugs x

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  27. I needed your post. I can't say more. I just needed it. I know I should be writing something supportive and strengthening and I hope this is in some way, but tonight you saved something that was curling up inside. I hate cancer.

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  28. Dear God, please help this brainless fool 5 posts up from mine to find sight and understanding. People like that scare me... Hopefully she will see the light and love that is there for all. Amen

    Lana and Henry..no long msg, just waves of positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. Stay strong and love each other as hard as you can.

    Michelle

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  29. Dear Lana,
    I look at your blog everyday to find out how you guys are coping. I do not know you personally but you guys are in my mind a lot. I feel very very sad about what you and Henry are going through. I pray day and I pray night and hope that things will turn out positively fo Henry. In a matter of a year I have had so many people I know suffer from cancer that when I hear that word now it makes me truly sick to my stomach. WHen is this freakin disease gong to be eradicated from this world? Why haven't they yet found a cure with all the money that is being spent on research???? Or.....do they really want to find a cure???? sometimes I wonder but everytime I think of it I get frustrated and really angry. My plea to you is please please please do not give up hope Lana.....keep strong, hang in there and fight like you never fought before. This will really help your hubby. Attitude is everything. I pray that god give you both the strength to stand up to this challenging time in your lives and to come out triumphantly. I pray that god eases Henry's suffering and put his arms around him and protect him from further harm. Please know that we are all praying for you- many people are and that has to count for something. Talk to your hubby, pray with him and whatever little joys/comfort he can experience in this time of great discomfot let him have them so as to lift the gloom that this situation can bring with it.

    Many many hugs and kisses for you and Henry from Holland. You are a blessed and loving human being and good will come to you, do not worry.

    I always do anonymous because for some reason or the other I cannot get the google whatever to work properly- drives me nuts!

    Donna
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  30. Lana, your posts are breaking my heart. I don't know what to say other than we love you and are praying for you and Henry daily. I have followed you on YouTube for quite a while now and include you in my circle of friends & family. I so wish that there was something that I could do to ease your pain. You and your wonderful hubby Henry are two of the bravest people I know. Even though it is incredibly hard, keep up your faith and the fight against this horrible disease. We are all right behind you sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Much love & many hugs from a fellow Hoosier. Kellye :)

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  31. Lana, I have only read your blog and watched your videos for a short time but I have looked forward to them very much. I am heartsick for you and your husband. Both of you are very brave, I guess cancer has a way of doing that to people. I will pray that you will be able to take each day as it comes and that your strength and determination will shine through for each other.
    I have taken to heart your point about taking things and people for granted. I pray you both will be able to face the future with courage and love.

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  32. Dear Lana, my husband and I pray for you both every day and you are both so often in my thoughts. Be brave my dear.
    Many hugs and kisses for you and Henry from Brazil.

    Dear God,
    Please keep harm away from all of us. Please keep harm away from my old friends and all of my new friends and all of our families.
    Amen

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  33. Lana, please ignore the person that chooses to call you names at a time like this. There is a special place for people like that. May God comfort you and Henry John in this hour of need. Please never ever give up hope!
    God Bless You,
    Delynn in Dallas

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  34. Lana, I agree with Michelle 100%. You're going through so much and someone writes hateful words to you. *shaking my head* An EX-friend of mine said something like that when I told her I felt so sorry for my Dad for going through what he did. She said "Well, he's not the ONLY person who has cancer." True, but he was MY Dad and it broke my heart to see him in such mental and physical pain. I truly don't understand people anymore. I think I've given up trying. There's no compassion, no feeling. It seems like everyone is me me me anymore. And that's sad. When you have no compassion, you lose a piece of yourself. So Lana, I will continue to send you and Henry mega pixie dust, twinkles, sparkles, hugs, glitter and love. I will ask God to hold you both in His arms and heal you. God Bless You both. Take care.

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  35. Miracles of healing happen every day. My prayers are for you and Henry. -Message is linked to my name- ((angel hugs))
    Donna Angel Hugs Postcards

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  36. sending you my daily dose of hugs, thoughts & prayers. I pray for healing of your dear sweet Henry. I pray for strength for both of you. I pray that when Henry's treatments are over that his cancer will be in remission and stay there. Faith, Hope & Love, Anita

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  37. Precious One

    Thank you for allowing us to walk this journey
    with you.

    Allow the pain to do what it came to do. Allow
    the stress to teach you to more fully lean on
    and trust in God. Stand up when life challenges
    you. Take heart! Everything holds its own
    blessing. Blessed are those who perevere.

    "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,
    because when he has stood the test, he will
    receive the crown of life that God has promised
    to those who love Him" James 1:12

    You are in my thoughts and prayers

    Hugs, jewlee

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  38. You are loved. I am praying for Henry and for you. Love always, Debweth.

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  39. For the dimwit that called you a name her poor deceased mom must have died long before she taught her ignorant daughter any manners or compassion.
    I pity them both.

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  40. Sending you and Henry love, love,love, love and tons more love. You are on every prayer list I could find (the whole of St. Pete is praying for you). Thinking of you everyday and pushing out the positive vibes. It's people like you that restore my faith in people. Know in your heart that your many, many dear friends here love you and will be here for you. Hugs xxxxxx Eva

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  41. Hi Lana please be assured that you have the biggest support group ever and we are constantly thinking of you every single day of your journey through this! I check your blog daily, sometimes twice or more for updates as you and your husband move forward through this battle...May God give you and your family the strength and peace you need to make it through day by day.

    Remember this: "Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."

    Much love Lana,

    Brian

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  42. Oh Lana, I've been watching your videos forever. I came across your blog, you and Henry have been very much on my mind since. My husband, Josh, and my 2 year old Lily, we prayed for you tonight, and will continue to. I feel such a pull to your blog every day, hoping and praying for positive news. Please continue to know that you have thousands of people on your side, rooting and cheering and praying and crying right there with you, in the waiting room and in those horrible ugly chairs and at home when Henry is resting. Take good care, and I will continue to pray.
    -Leigh, Delanson, NY

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  43. Amen, through Chrrist our Lord, we pray.

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  44. Children say things that make us laugh and cry, I often wonder how such tinny beings think up such things, "Daddy, Who is Harm and why is he coming to OUR house?" it's hard sometimes to be wise and answering such a question from children. Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why.

    Kennedi's mind is full of questions but the best thing of all she was listing to her daddy's every word, such thoughts and prays will not go unheard Lana, you have a sweet and loving family, God is with you all now and always. In your sadness you lift me Lana and God see's that, I Pray God will give to you the joy you give us every time you speck to us.

    Bless you Henry and your beautiful family ..Great Big Hugs, love always Margaret x x x x

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  45. Amen. Always in my thoughts Lana...
    Miracles do happen. Be strong, love Tamara xo

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  46. My heart breaks for both of you. You are always on my mind and in my prayers.
    Love,
    Bridget
    youtube user: lucky123

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  47. My prayers are still with you and your husband and family. You're both heros!

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  48. Lana, I can't even imagine the hell you are going through. You're both in my prayers xoxoxoxo

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  49. Still praying for both you and Henry Lana!!

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  50. Just popping in early, to say an early morning prayer for y'all today.

    Please say your prayer for Lana an Henry, and let them know by lighting your candle here:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  51. I still pray for you and your husband, for all the people in the world that is sick and their families. A miracle is coming! God is with you! God is listening!

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  52. Hi Lana,

    Jus checkin again today. You guys are constantly in my thoughts. I have written it before but will write it again. Just some little things I have learned and know works for sure that I want to share. Our food and environment is what is killing us...Yes, the very things that should sustain us is killing us. Once Henry gets to a place where he can eat real food please please please change his diet drastically. Leave out meat, ESPECIALLY READ MEAT), dairy products and sugar or too much fat. Clean up the diet. Do juicing, vegetables, fruits and especially, if you can buy organic. Go to youtube and type in "liferegenerator)- Dan Mcdonald (lots of good information from him). He is a raw food man and you will get many good recipes to juice and use for Henry. You do not have to go all out and eat only raw but certainly omit the very bad stuff Lana. One of the main causes of serious illness is that our bodies become acidic and inflamed from the food that we eat and other environmental causes. TO clean up the system you need to eat clean and turn the diet around. Forget junk food. Cancer cannot survive in an alkaline body (non-acidic). I have been reading all of this the last year and I have learned a lot.I have friends who have had cancer and have survived and are still living today. They have all made substantial changes to their diet and it works.
    Continue to be strong and hang in there and I know it is easier said than done but try to think only positive thoughts. Recurrence and all that stuff- you will cross that bridge if and when you get to it. I pray that things will turn around for your hubby and for you and especially, that he will not be done too much harm by the cancer treatment itself.

    Hugs and well wishes from Holland
    Donna

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  53. Lana- My heart aches for you and Henry, I cannot imagine the heartache that you go through everyday. May God bless you both and guide you on the way to healing. Thank you for keeping us updated as I check in on Henry and you a few times a week. Hugs!
    Kimberly

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  54. Love hugs and prayers.

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  55. only 5 more to go, yay. you sound as if you two are keeping your spirits pretty high to be this far into your treatment, 5 more is nothing you've done so many already. it is unfortunate about the young guy, seeing people you know won't be there long is sad to be a part of, you don't want to see them suffer but you don't want them to go just yet. very hard indeed, hopefully you won't have to know that feeling any time soon lana

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  56. Lana Sending love and prayers to you and your family.Feel the warmth and comfort as Our God wraps his arms around you both.I will keep checking on your blog daily , putting your family on my church's prayer list. your Friend
    Beckie

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  57. As I read this the tears flood MY eyes. I can only imagine how exhausting this all is for both of you. Sending Love and Light.....may you both receive strength from it and may no more harm come to you. ♥

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  58. Lots of love stay strong gorgeous xxxxx

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  59. Lana - I tried to post the other day and it didn't go thru (at least it didn't look like it) I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your prayer on Monday - girl your heart and soul are so precious to worry about anyone else at this time if not NOW when can you be selfish? But NO not Lana - I am praying everyday for you both, and I finally lit a candle on that site that lovely soul set up... we are all thinking of you - as for those who are hurt and can only lash out - know that they too will receive a prayer from me today, because only someone so LOST could write that stupid ridiculous comment... I have learned one thing about people, just because they think doesn't mean its so! GOD Bless YOU especially today - much love PJ

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  60. I cant tell you what to eat
    I cant tell you how you must be feeling
    I cant tell you what will happen...

    But I can tell you that there is alot of love here for you and Henry.

    I think of you both daily...

    with all my heartfelt wishes Lana

    Diana x

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  61. Dear Lana,I wish I could be there to clean your house, do your laundry,bring you a bowl of chicken soup,fix you a cup of tea. But know this, I'm sending good thoughts and prayers to you both. Stay strong and God Bless. Klaire xoxo

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  62. Blessings and prayers for you and yours, always :*

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  63. DEAREST LANA, OH, GIRL, YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY. THE ACCEPTANCE AND NEW FOUND COMPASSION THAT WE ALL LEARN DURING THE HORRIBLE MONTHS OF TREATMENT ARE SHINING THROUGH YOU. MAY I DARE SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON? YOU ARE STRONGER, MORE CAREFUL NOT TO WASTE TIME, MORE THANKFUL FOR SMALL, TENDER MERCIES. GOD IS AS CLOSE AS YOU WANT HIM TO BE. LET HIM KNOW YOUR FEARS, ANGER, AND TEARS AT THIS TIME. HE'S ALWAYS WANTED A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU:ONE THAT IS DEEPLY PERSONAL, MUTUAL AND FULL OF DEEP LOVE. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD CHANGED DRAMATICALLY DURING MY TREATMENT. I WAS NEVER MORE CLOSE TO HIM AND HE WAS FAITHFUL AND LOVING THE WHOLE TIME. DON'T WASTE THIS PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO DRAW NEARER. HE'S WAITING, JUST FOR YOU. GIVE HENRY A HUG FROM ME AND KNOW THAT YOU BOTH ARE IN MY PRAYERS. LOTS OF LOVE, NONI

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  64. I pray that for you as well. May God be with you and your husband.

    Hugs from California
    oxoxo

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  65. Hang in there, Lana. Make the decisions regarding treatment that are right for you and your husband.

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  66. Lana, lucky for you to have your children and grandchildren around at this time. You have to find some time for rest and fun when most of your time goes to fighting the cancer. Keeping you and Henry in my prayers as always. Warm hugs for you Lana.

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  67. Dear Lana,

    It's Thursday morning I woke up let the dog out and started making breakfast for my kids. As I was cooking thoughts of you and Henry crept into my mind. Wondering how you are and thinking about how Henry has 2 more treatments and I pray that what Henry has been through has done its job and that after its all over Henry will be cancer free and that it will stay that way so that you are able to put this horrible experience behind you and enjoy life again. Sending lots of love, hugs, thoughts and many prayers of healing your way. Faith, Hope & Love <3 Anita (LaLaBella5a)

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  68. Lana I hope you know you are an amazing woman and your husband is blessed to have you. I think about you both often and pray that he stays strong and gets well.

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  69. Lana,

    Thinking of you both and praying. We love you.

    Deanna6260

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  70. I honestly do not know what to say, I feel dumb trying to say something that could make you feel better, I only would like to say that I´m really sorry for the pain you and your husband must have been feeling, the feeling of the unknown, your life has dramatically changed in what it seems a minute and you must feel very scared and powerless, you are a very strong woman, thank you for sharing your journey with the world, I wish you all the blessings in the world, may God give you both srenght, hope and love... I´m praying for you.. xxx Rebeca...

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  71. Love and prayers for both of you.

    Please light your candle for Lana and Henry here:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  72. What an unsympathetic and insensitive, downright nasty person we have here who shows no empathy or compassion for what Henry and you are going through right now Lana. Where in God's name do these people come from??? Why would anyone want to leave a comment like that? You are suffering and they want add misery and spite by way of nasty comments. Well, if they go back and read through any/all of our comments, they will see how much love we all have here for you, how much we all care and how much YOU care, to keep us updated about your situation. For Ms or Mr Disrespectful, my mother died of cancer too. My mother suffered an excruciating pain and lost her hair and a whole lot more. If anyone was caring enough to ask why my mother had lost her hair or looked weak, we never considered them as nosey. We were touched at their concern and as you put it so beautifully Lana - sharing is caring. Asking about a patients experience is not nosey and if they think like that, well they will never be able to experience the love and appreciation from others. Don't change who you are for a second Lana and you can be sure that when you ask after another individual, it will be appreciated. Small minded people, jealous haters will always be and the best thing we can do Lana is close ranks, have strength from each other and solider on, treating them with the contempt they damned well deserve. I love you so much Lana. Focus on the positive, don't let cheap nasty comments penetrate your armour. We're with you all the way, both of you, you and dear Henry. God bless you two wonderful people. Leyla :) xxxooo

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  73. Harm should take its big ugly bag on nastiness and heart-ache and bugger off, it's not welcome. Much love and affection to you both my dear sweet Lana. Leyla :) xxxooo

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  74. Hi Lana and Henry,
    I just want to day first off Lana you're amazing I just recently started watching your videos and following your blog and I feel like you're a longlost friend :). I just wanted to say to you both that although I do not personally know you I am there with you guys as we all are that are eagerly awaiting any news of Henry and his battle with this horrible demon named cancer. I pray for you guys and hope that this helps you both to know were all behind you hoping and praying.

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  75. @Michelle, I love your post, I actually giggled. I needed a smile tonight :)


    Lana, just said another prayer for you guys, sorry again I got lost for a few days.

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  76. Out of the mouths of babes! Ah, to be so innocent again in our views of life. You are doing amazing! Doing everything right. As much as you get so much advice from every angle...just follow your heart. Now, go hug your man :)

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  77. God Bless you both and your lovely family!
    ((hugs)) xxxxx ~ Lorrie

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  78. Lana~

    I love you and am thinking about you today. Thinking about your beautiful face and your strong spirit. Thinking good thoughts about you and why I love you so! Thinking about you reaching out to those around you even though you are going through a difficult place yourself....so like you....that beautiful heart that God gave you is still beating strong.

    Look at that handsome husband of yours today and remind him of why you first fell in love with him. He is still that same lover even though his body is being assaulted right now. Sweet words from the ones we love make us feel like we can climb mountains.

    You and Henry are surrounded by love and prayers!

    Kisses~~Karen

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  79. Lana,
    You have been like my sister for almost 30 years now and I know the love you and Henry have for each other. You are like a magnet to those who love you and have your heart. See all the love here? You have had that follow you all of your life. You radiate it and it comes back to you.
    I love you and Henry so much.
    When he is able, we can all go to dinner again like the old days and giggle like we did when we were young and innocent.
    Your Banana Sister,
    Jana

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  80. Hi Lana, I am at work right now, I was trying not to cry here, there are a lot of people around. May God keep you and your family safe and give you streght to keep fighting, you are a very strong woman. By the way, you are such a good writer.

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  81. Thinking of you and Henry and sending my love always. xoxo Jeanie

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  82. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  83. Lana
    I have never had the pleasure of meeting you, but through your writings and your utube videos,I feel like you are a good friend. I think of you and Henry often. I pray for you both. You bring so much joy and happiness to so many people. I with there was something I could do for you.

    Love,
    Carol

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  84. Dear Lana, this is my first comment of this nature and I hope it helps you in some way as you prevail over this horrific period of your life. Reading your post, one can not help but to feel the despair this ordeal has brought to you and your family's lifes. Please accept my prayers, loving thoughts, hopes and wishes along with my tears. You are an amazing symbol of strength to all of us as you find your way through this devastating crisis. I ask that you receive comfort, healing and support as you burden this anguish. Your bravery is astounding as your heart is admirable. I wish your family the best. May God be with you, always.

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  85. Lana, I was in your shoes many years ago. My husband had a slow growing brain tumor, but with a poor prognosis. I am not religious, but the day of his diagnosis i went to a nearby church and prayed. I have never prayed as i did that day for God to please give me and us more time together. You see, we had just gotten married. We had seven years. I was so grateful for our time together.

    I wish with all my heart that you and your husband could be spared this. My arms are holding you and giving you the strength you need for this journey.

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  86. Dear Lana,
    I have just been reading all the wonderful comments sent to you,Lana from such lovely people.I hope they are giving you and Henry hope and the belief that you can beat this cancer.Enjoy your weekend at home together. Love can conquer all evils! There is a lot of love out there for you and Henry,Lana.Praying for you and Henry to find the strength to win this battle.
    Sending healing thoughts your way.Enjoy the weekend together without the hospital appointments.
    Love to you both.Big huggy hugs,Julia xxxx xxxx

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  87. Stay strong Lana.
    *hug*

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  88. Lots of love dearest Lana to you and Henry. Throughout the day I think of you both and pray that you are having some rest during the weekend. I have been watching your videos - I miss you so much. My heart is full of love and admiration for you both, for your courage and your strength. Hang on in there Henry, not long to go now. It seems like an eternity but you've come so far. Big fat hugs to you both. Leyla xxxooo

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  89. Checking in, Lana...think about you both a lot. About a week or so ago I had (of all strange things) a dream, and Henry was in it. Strange because I don't have a clue what he looks like, but my subconcious made me a Henry,so I could give him a hug. That's all I can remember, I saw him, recognized him as Henry and just hugged him. Consider you both hugged...

    Calvikingchick YT

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  90. Aww lana, i really wish i could give YOU a hug! xox ((btw i made a video responce to your last video, dont know if you've see it but i hope it makes you feel better x))

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  91. Hi Lana, I was a new subscriber when all of this went down, and still think of you every day, and was logging in to check on you. Sending you an your family all my very best wishes and prayers. You guys can do this, and beat this. Stay positive, Jodi xo

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  92. Hey, I'm still here. I think and pray for y'all everyday, just haven't posted as much because I'm struggling through some issues as well right now, but that doesn't interfere with my prayers for you and Henry. I hope y'all find some rest and peace this weekend, every day is one step closer to the finish line of chemo and radiation, and there's enough of us here to drag y'all across if we have to.
    :D

    Please light your candle and say your prayers for Lana and Henry:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  93. Just checking in and sending my love to both of you. xoxo Jeanie

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  94. Keep fighting!! xo

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  95. 6 days since we have heard from you Lana and want you to know you are still in my daily thoughts and you and your wonderful husband Henry have my prayers daily. Peace be with you both. xoxo, Debbie

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  96. Thinking of you and Henry, hope you are ok....

    Sending ((((((hugs)))))))

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  97. OMG, Lana, i almost cried when I saw your post today. We are here for you, and we root for you and Henry. I am sending tons of hugs and kisses your way.
    Xoxoxoxoxox

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  98. Knowledge is power! I'm glad you spoke to that couple and I'm so glad they were open to you.

    Monica
    San Diego

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  99. We are missing you - our prayers and thoughts continue each and every day no matter what goes on in my life - not a day goes by that I dont pray for you and Henry...
    Love, light and peace
    Love PJ

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