What's in the Future?

What does the future hold for anyone? 
We go thru each day doing our daily activities and never know what the future will hold. We have been experiencing a Time Warp of a Future on Crack! We don't know what we will be doing tomorrow, the next day or even next week. 
I blew up my car. Do we buy a new one or do I stick with my Company Car even tho I'm not doing "company" things? Do I even need a car right now? Does that even matter? 
In the Grand Scheme of thing....No!


Tomorrow is the PET Scan which is a full-body scan to see what's going on inside you. They inject you with a mixture of radiation dye and glucose. No carbs or sugars the night before or you will overload. They leave that hot-juice in your body for 1 hour then run you thru the scan to detect anything and everything inside you. 
If this cancer has spread beyond the head and neck, we are FUCKED! Sorry but it's the only way I care to describe it.

Yesterday, we were to attend our friends daughter's gala wedding but instead, we went to look for cemetery plots. Not that we are not being positive here, we are just being REAL.  
I had shopped and searched for the perfect dress for the last 2 weeks for this wedding. It was crucial that I have the right style and look like class. Everyone we know was invited.
 A gorgeous Zac Posen dress was in my possession with cute Jimmy Choo shoes to match. I was giddy with excitement. You know how it is when you feel your outfit for that upcoming special event looks good on you and you just know you will feel confident and the stress of being worried about your style is non existent. Ha!
That dress and shoes don't mean a thing. Handbags and lipsticks? They mean zilch.
JuicyTuesday wrote me a note and told me something that really sticks in my head....
Health is Wealth
I will write that again.... 
Health is Wealth.

Anyway, back to Zac Posen.
I told a dear friend of mine that we were going to spend our day on Saturday not going to the wedding but instead going to find Eternal resting places side by side. She gave me one very good idea...
Wear the Zac Posen to the cemetery! 
I did just that. 
My darling husband, Jimmy Choo, Zac Posen and I all traipsed thru the serene grounds and we found the perfect place. 
You may think I am being morbid. It wasn't at all. It was actually very peaceful and had a comforting presence there among the tall trees and beautiful quiet of flowers and silence. We found a spot near a sloping hill with sunshine and whispering trees nearby.

I hope all of you don't get depressed by my blog. It's theraputic for me. I am usually crying big tears as I type. It's also a way for me to express my thoughts and give family and far away friends an update. I know I need to announce this to my wonderful YouTube viewers in a video but I am so raw right now, I'm not sure I can. I appreciate you all more than you know. Each and every note and letter I get is going in the pocket inside my husbands heart tomorrow and all the good wishes and prayers will be going thru that PET Scan as well and I hope they come out on the other side with just ONE day of GOOD news. 
If not... 

Go PINK! Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Ok, so usually my posts are full of fun and laughs but today I just felt the need to write about something so scary but so important. 


I'll never forget the day one of my very best friends in the world, Candy was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.  She had told me that she was going in for a routine Mammogram after finding a tiny lump. 
No big deal, right? 
She was 36. 
The doctor called her into his office 3 days later for a consult. We were all there with her. How could we not be? We have been friends since I was 14 years old.  
She is like a sister to me!
When he told her that she had a very aggressive type of breast cancer and a radical mastectomy was required, we were all in shock, that is except Candy.  She smiled thru it all and held our hands and we left in a cloud of shock and for me total despair. 
Cancer at 36? 
Why Candy? 
I know of women that are NOT sweet, NOT kind, NOT caring like she is, why not THEM?


The surgery was scheduled for the end of the following week. 
I went home and cried for days. She was so strong. I was not.


An entire bevy of us arrived with her at the hospital. She was told to gown and where to go. All of us girls were surrounding her hospital bed right before they were to wheel her in for the procedure.  
Someone, I'm not sure to this day who, suggested we all pray. 
We began..."Please God be with Candy......" 
That's as far as it got before we were all wailing and sobbing and broken down in tears.  All of us crying .... then Candy's sweet voice...
"Please God be with these wonderful friends of mine and keep them strong. 
You see, I need them. 
I borrow their clothes."
All was so quiet. No one was even breathing. Then, in a flash we all broke up into fits of laughter. 
No tears. No more crying.  Candy was going to be fine. 
Here she was the one lying so vulnerable and small in that hospital gurney and she was comforting US!
She had the procedure and went home that day. 
I took a covered dish to her house that evening and guess what? She was out on the back of a motorcycle! WHAT?
Three weeks later they scheduled the first of a six month round of Chemo.  This was the first I saw how hard this was going to be for my dear friend.  
She told me that losing her breast was no big deal. 
Her boob had Never hugged her kids. 
Her boob had Never drove her car.
Her boob had Never gazed up at the stars in the sky.
Losing her hair was going to be the hard part.  We would sit outside and just the lightest breeze would make her long beautiful hair blow away in a cloud.  I could see how much this hurt her.
She shaved her head and then just simply rocked headscarves and wigs. She was beautiful inside and out. Hair or no hair.
It's been over 20 years and Candy is Cancer Free.
Thanks to early detection and a willingness to follow her doctors orders, she survived.
Breast Cancer is survivable. 


October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I Thank God it has had a light shown on this disease.
I go on Friday for my annual Mammogram and screening.
I hope that all of you over 40 or with a history of Breast Cancer in your family,  schedule a Mammogram this month. It could save your life!
I could only hope to ever be as strong as my dear friend. She gives me hope everyday ~ in Every Thing. 
Besides, she borrows my clothes!
I ℒℴѵℯ You All!

❤