Monday, November 3, 2014

Was My Husband Cheating?

My darling husband died in June. Almost every week someone would leave a red or pink rose on his grave. Once the absolute numbness of losing him wore off and I began to take notice of the things around me, I began asking family and friends if THEY had left a rose. Always the same answer…. No.
It continued. 
Late summer, Fall and even the dead of winter. Every time I went to visit and grieve for my husband, a rose was there. It truly began to make me feel upset and uncomfortable. My husband's grave was all I had of him. That and our precious memories. Why would someone intrude on that?
Time passed. Life went on. Days came and went. The grief was always there waiting to bubble up at a song, a smell or a memory. 

3 Months later, I had posted a blog about my sadness and grief. 
It was less than 4 days later I got this note in the mail:

I stumbled across your website a couple of years ago.
Your videos and blog actually made me throw up in my mouth!
Nobody cares what you wore to the funeral. You are a Martyr widow. Nobody cares that you wore black gloves. But, really, my dear, long black gloves in 90 degree weather? A big fine from The Fashion Police. You are not a movie star or royalty so come down off your high horse. Your story about the "five dots" just makes you delusional. You and your DEAD husband had seperate lives. At least HENRY did, if you get what I mean.
Personally, you are Trailer Trash and the perfect example of how money can't buy you class.
Henry deserved better.

I was shocked, hurt and stunned. 
What kind of woman writes a note like that just to hurt? I have always been an advocate and strong supporter of women. 
Writing a note to criticize what I wore to put my husband in the ground for eternity? Why would she even care? 
Was my husband cheating on me? 
I didn't ever feel that he was. We were happy together and in love.
I never had that "gut" feeling. We were together almost constantly.
Even if he was cheating on me,  what she was doing was nothing more than mean and so cruel!
I had no proof. I had no peace.
I began to suspect everyone! Stranger's that smiled at me in the grocery store. People I didn't know that added me on FaceBook. 
Even friends. I felt as though I was in a bubble and just the slightest thing could burst it and I would disappear completely. 
I had to know. My close friends volunteered to go stake out the cemetery. All I wanted was a name. A face.

The roses continued.
I placed our wedding picture in a beautiful frame and had it waterproofed and placed it lovingly at his tombstone.
Our Wedding….A happier time and place.  
The picture disappeared.
Still the roses came.
I went to winter at my Florida home in the sunshine. Henry never far from my heart and mind.
I returned. More fresh roses lying on my husbands grave in the sweet smell of newly cut grass and Indiana sunshine.

In late June this year, I decided to hell with my humiliation. What did it matter anyway? Isn't catching and exposing this person more important  than feeling embarrassed and humiliated? I was hurt enough. Nothing he/she could ever do could hurt as much as losing my sweet Henry so I began asking friends what they would do? I also posted a YouTube video explaining it all.

After a lengthy discussion my good friend Kevin told me to place a deer camera on a tree in the cemetery to catch whoever it was. 
A what?
I never knew they had such a thing…..
He helped me choose one and place it in the proper place near my husband's grave.
More later……


  1. Wow... what an awful thing to go through. Thank goodness you caught that evil person. Can't wait to hear more. hugs & much love

  2. Gee..this is like a horror movie!! So sad you had to go through anything like this.,! Love you...... Hope you caught that monster!!

  3. OMG Lana...what a narcissistic sociopath that person on feel asleep is to write you such a horrible note. I am so sorry that you had to endure that not long after your husband died. Just terrible.

  4. Whatever goes around, comes around. This cruel person has so much bad karma coming their way! You are a strong woman Lana, good for you for not taking this laying down. Henry would be so proud of you!

  5. I called her this morning and confronted her! She admitted it all. The roses, the notes etc. When I told her I had captured her pictures…. She was SHOCKED!
    When I asked if she was having an affair with my husband, she could only say that it was none of my business. Fine! I am over it all now. It's over and she can place roses on his grave until eternity…. I'm going to begin to LIVE!!!!! Finally! I'm heading to Florida!
    Life is for the living and mine begins NOW!!!!

    1. Good for you! You called it, she's a pitiful hater.
      Enjoy your time in Florida and please continue your videos. You are an inspiration to many <3

    2. I am so proud and happy for you did whatever it took to put your marriage, your life with your husband at rest....YOU were and ARE HIS wife, nobody can take that away so screw Susan and her delusional self! I adore you to pieces! xoxo

    3. Way to go Lana. Can't believe someone would put you through all this. Enjoy your time in Florida. You deserve it.

    4. Is this the same woman who is on the board of directors at green mountain coffee? I googled her and the pictures look like her. What a seriously mentally deranged individual... Don't believe anything out of her mouth Lana, I'm so glad you have exposed this sick excuse for a human being for what she is...if it is the same person I googled, she definitely should not be allowed to sit on any business board and I hope they hear about this and remove her, she is clearly mentally unfit. Henry loved and provided forYOU Lana, not her, and she is simply mentally deranged

    5. Lana, doesnt matter if he was cheating or not, i dont believe it for a second, its obvious who he loved since he was with you till the end! Sadly, some people are happy only when they are putting misery into someone elses life....let it go sweety. You have beautiful memories of Henry in your heart, she does not. God bless you Lana. Live life to the fullest, we are only on this earth for a short time! Love you Lana! Nona from Michigan

    6. If she only dates married men, that tells you all you need to know about her- that she doesn't have a lot of class, and not much is beneath her. My guess is that Henry did a kindness for her, and she mistook that kindness for interest. Can someone who makes a ritual out of putting a rose on the grave of another person's husband really be all there mentally? Unfortunately, she probably won't stop until she finds someone else's husband to chase. Considering her looks and rather unbalanced personality, that may take awhile. So put it out of your mind, and enjoy your time in Florida.

    7. I'm very sorry she was a cruel psychopath. You didn't deserve any of this. Stay strong and keep on moving forward sweetheart. !!!!

  6. Oh Lana what an awful thing to go through. I just want to say i have to agree with you if she loved him she would have visited him when he was sick and she doesn't seem like the kind of person to hold back her feelings if there was anything happening between her and Henry she would have definitely used it to her advantage to hurt you and to break you up like she's done before to others to be with him.
    You are such a lovely beautiful strong woman keep being just that <3

  7. Hi Lana.If I have the right person she is wearing a pink top with black hair on facebook.Sahe says she is 39 which was in 2010.She never is.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. There is no way she is/was 39, I'm 35 LOL She is the one who is delusional.

  9. Lana, I'm so happy you were able to solve this awful mystery. And I know you are smart enough to keep yourself protected--keep up the good work. Now you can really enjoy the rest of your life. Be well is the best revenge!

  10. How awful....she sounds spiteful, don't give her the power to torture your thoughts with doubts about your marriage.

  11. Oh, Lana, don't allow someone else to steal your joy in life or to ruin any memory you had with your husband. You know what the two of you had. This is a sick lady who had no relationship whatsoever with your husband. If she did, I think you would have known before now. She probably wished she had a devoted husband like yours and her only power is to try to ruin your memory. Lana, you sound like a really nice lady. Let this woman go and live a good life like Henry would have wanted you too. Peace my friend.

    P.S. She was probably shocked that you caught her...I imagine you could file harassment or stalking charges with the video and note combined. I am certain the police or an attorney might be able to advise you of your rights. If she does sit on the Board of Directors somewhere, I imagine charges like this might ruin her career.

  12. OMG Lana, I can't believe someone could be so cruel and her personality matches her outer ugliness as well. Just know that Karma will catch up with this beast of a person, I won't compliment her by calling her a woman because she is not even close to being human. Cruelty is one thing but to be so mean and daring is just uncalled for. Stay positive and don't let this Bitch get you down. You know the relationship and love that you and your husband shared and there should never be a need for you to question it. Love you Lady :)

  13. Hi how are you thank you so much for the Chanel shoes my husband already sent you the payment .

  14. Bless your heart,someone did the same to my brother grave until finally got what she deserve,can't wait to read more Blessings "

  15. Did you ever finish your childhood story ?

  16. Did you ever finish your childhood story ?

  17. Dear, dear Lana, WOW. I can't believe what I've just read. I was on YouTube watching menopause videos when I found yours (hilarious & so comforting, thank you for your candidness!)...and then I watched another where you shared awesome makeup tips (and I just bid on a tube of Pore Porefessional on eBay!), but then at the end of that video... :( Well, I googled you & found this. My God. Lana, I am so very sorry for your devastating loss, and to think that some wicked skank would have the senseless audacity to taunt you with such vileness blows my mind. What a tool. Everyone grieves in their own way; how dare she comment on your process. For what it's worth, I think you did right by outing that horrible whore of a woman. God have mercy on her soul, and may he comfort yours as only He can. xo

  18. Lana,
    I know Susan Clisby. I worked with her. What a skank! She only goes after married men. If you have a man, she will do her best to steal him away from you no matter the consequences. Se is a barracuda. always cruising the waters for fresh meat to sink her vicious teeth in to. Do not buy in to what she is trying to sell you! She only wished she could have your husband. This is the most irrelevant person on the planet. She has no one. No husband kids or family. She is desperate and alone. She used to tell me that she hated you and the fact that your husband chose you. He loved you and she wants to hurt you. Ignore her and her desperate antics! She once went to Las Vegas with a married man and he ended up leaving her there because he found out that she has
    Genital Warts!
    Susan Clisby is a bitch.


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