Monday, February 4, 2013

Working Girl

Hello Again My Lovely and Beautiful Friends.

Not because I am broke or in debt, I am going back to work. 


My husband insured I would be taken care of long into my 90's and beyond. 

He simply didn't want me to have to depend on a man for support in any way. I'm happy he did that for me not because of the money but because of the independence and freedom to go and do what I want and need to do. I have several girlfriends that lost their beloved husbands only to lose their homes and lifestyles as well. 

The house in Key Largo sold. It was to be mine for a year. I gave it up as soon as I was able to physically get on a plane and manage the move. 

It was hard. So many memories there. Beautiful memories of a time when we were happy and healthy.
It's hard to go from being happily married to suddenly single.
Had my husband left me for another woman I could have tried to get him back. Fought for him. Begged, pleaded and worked to keep him close and mine. 
He didn't leave me for another woman. 
He died. 
He left me to save a spot for me at his side in Heaven. 

I know he's near me daily. I see him every time the sun rises in the morning. When the Florida wind kicks up and I feel the soft breeze on my face... I know he's there. Beside me. 

I fought. I fought hard for him to stay here but God wanted him there. 
I begged and pleaded and worked so hard to keep him with me.
I made deals with God. God had other plans for a great man.
Who am I to argue with God?

I bought a new house closer to my son here in Florida. I am keeping my Indiana home and will fly back and forth.  Being here has been healing for me. 

Anyway, I am doing well. 
Not 100% yet but it will come. 
I applied to three airlines and am going back to flying. It's my passion. One doesn't work simply because they are broke. 
I love to work. Sitting and staring at walls all day gets very old and extremely exhausting. I may be 57 years old but I am far from dead! 
I love people and feel I still have plenty to offer this planet so off to work I go.

Getting up in the morning and having a plan is very liberating. 
Sure, with all of the money my husband left me, I could shop and lunch with friends all day. Buy exotic cars, travel the world, drip myself in diamonds but that is simply not me. 

I love you all and will do videos soon. I miss my YouTube channel but the time just hasn't felt right. It will. 

I have found that all things good come in due time when the timing is right.
Love and Peace,
Lana




65 comments:

  1. Thank you Lana for letting us know how you are doing. I fully understand you wanting to go back and work. It is so much more than just a job, it is a very important thing in life. I would miss my colleagues and the people i meet at work every day if I wasn't working. I'm looking forward to your next update, and a youtube video when you are ready for that. Warm hugs for you from Sweden.

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  2. So happy for you Lana. Looking forward to hearing your adventures.

    Take care pretty lady.

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  3. Thanks so much for the blog update. We all have been so worried about you and of course grieve beside you. As weird as it sounds I'm also happy to know of your home situation. Glad you have a home by both of your boys and grandchildren. Thrilled for you returning to work at the job you love so much. I know you are taking care of yourself and grieving in a way that only the person who lost someone can. How ever long it takes, whatever it entails, it is your journey. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you are doing it wrong. It takes what it takes. Love you bunches! xxxooo Phyllis

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  4. So glad to hear from you Lana. You never struck me as the sort of woman who was just happy to lunch all day....you struck me as needing to offer something to the world...through youtube and through your love of flying. I would be so happy to see your gorgeous face if ever I jumped on your flight! lol Keep happy, busy and healthy Lana. Hugs xx

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  5. From Holland (Europe) I wish you all the best!!! Loking forward to your new story's. Best regards Arlette

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  6. I loved reading this. You have a smile that can light up a room. Going back to work and being able to share this with people is a terrific thing. Besides you have so many more travels to share with us. You need to finish your book and perhaps start another one on how to survive.

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  7. I wish you all the best and i'm happy you share this with us. :))

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  8. Love and miss you, Lana! I wish you all the best and hope this new move and job will help you in your journey. Much love, Lexi xoxo

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  9. Now I can't wait to hear all about your new adventures in the air ! Looking forward to "seeing" you again...hugs..patti

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  10. So happy to hear from you. Was concerned about you and how you were doing. Work is therapy and will help you through the tough days ahead. Sitting at home looking at the walls is not good for anyone so kudos to you for finding something you love. Keep in touch and let us know how everything is going. The airline is lucky to have you. I'm sure you will be a blessing to the passengers. Enjoy your new adventure. Hugs Kathy

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  11. So glad you have made steps to continue with your life, I understand why you want to work again...often wonder how you are doing...lots of love xx

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  12. I am so glad you are finding happiness in your life once again, Lana! May God continue to give you peace & comfort & may you be blessed! I am happy for you that you are once again pursuing your passion of flying! All my best to you! xo--Sammie

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  13. Lana, the trials you went through with your late husband has made me look at my husband and our marriage differently. My heart cringes whenever I picture myself in your shoes at the time. Death could be cruel, but it is comforting to know, through you, that there is healing beyond all the grief. Good luck to your new adventures!

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  14. Lana I wish you the best! I'm so sad for you but happy for Henry to be in Heaven and able to watch over you and be by your side every minute! I'm glad you will be working again, I hope to see you in the friendly skies!
    xoxo Michele

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  15. Well done Lana, that sounds right for you and I wish you all the very best in finding the job that's right for you. x

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  16. Sounds like a plan. I would be so honored if I ever met you irl. You are an inspiration. Keep your head up.

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  17. So glad to hear from you. I think working will be good for you and will look forward to the day you return to youtube.

    xoxo
    Monica

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  18. I was thinking about you today and thought that maybe you have posted something without me realizing it so, i looked on youtube and there was nothing, then i realized that you posts blogs and sure enough you posted something today out of all days, The day i was thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. So glad to hear that you are keeping yourself busy and happy. Can't wait for new video's. I just want you too know that you have friends here on the internet that really do care about you and glad that you are okay! Miss seeing your smiling face in video's so i was watching old ones.....hahaha You make age look not so scary but, fun and inviting. Can't wait to hear you sense of humor again. Keeping you in my prayers everyday. A devoted youtuber and friend. Elisha

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  19. Beautiful Lana, I'm so thrilled to read an update from you! I'm just another internet friend who has prayed and cried with you and sends you many internet hugs! I'm glad you'll be back in the air, sharing your love, laughter and style with everyone again! Can't wait for a vid of yours to pop up in my subscription box, but all in due time. =) Stay healty and happy, missing your warmth and humor! -A.L.

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  20. so happy to see an update and cant wait to see more vids in the future xxxx

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  21. I'm thrilled to hear from you. Not knowing how you were wasn't good. Thanks for the update. Keep them coming.

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  22. Glad to hear from you! I miss you! ((hugs))

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  23. Good for you Lana!! Your happiness and wonderful attitude is contagious! Go out and spread it with the world!! Sending many hugs XO

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  24. this is one of the best birthday presents that i got today.. i'm so glad to hear from you and that you're going to make videos again.. can't wait.. love you lana and God bless..

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  25. Lana I wish you peace, happiness and many blessings as you begin this newest chapter of your life. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sending you love and light.
    Mary (mjd716)

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  26. I am so glad that you have posted and let us know that you are doing okay. You have been busy with getting a new home and a new job. Congratulations. My husband passed away 5 years ago and it is hard to keep on with life. I was at an age where getting work is impossible and I wasn't left financially comfortable but God is good and I manage. I keep busy with church activities and I have a good supportive group of friends. Look forward to your new YouTube videos when you feel the time is right. Lots of love and support.

    Jennifer

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  27. Thank you for the update Lana. I do think of you often and miss you, your stories and your sense of humor. I hope you get on with a good airline, any of them would be LUCKY to have you.
    You keep taking great care of yourself.

    P.s. We didn't have Target stores here in Canada. (NOW they are finally coming here.) Ours is being built right now and will be opening this spring. The reason I am telling you this.... is because I always remember you showing all your AWESOME Target finds and purchases and I was always so jelous. *heheh* As soon as I found out we were getting one I was so happy and thought. "Now hopefully I will be able to get some deals like Lana was always getting"

    XOXO
    Melanie aka (Melzaelf)

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  28. Oh my gosh! It's SO good to see a post from you... and to see that you're going back to doing something you love. I'm so happy for you!

    Hugs to you, dear Lana, I wish you the best!
    mary sue

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  29. So glad to see your post! I have really missed seeing you and I miss your videos. I just wish you the best. It will take time but you will feel better again. Take care!!

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  30. omg so glad to read your post today.... spring is coming to Indiana soon :) good luck flying again.... I could always tell you loved it so much. see ya soon xoxo shirley

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  31. So happy for you. Any airline would be very lucky to have you as a flight attendant. Looking forward to seeing your videos soon.

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  32. I just add myself to all these people here saying that you inspire them:) You inspire me too!:) ...I just loved it to hear that you'll maybe start doing YT videos again.

    Peace&LOVE for You on Your way to GOD.

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  33. You will find yourself again love. It takes time. Just know you are loved and we will be waiting for you. xoxo

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  34. So good to see your post, Lana. Yes, work gives us a reason to get up in the morning and if you love the job, that's a bonus. Go girl..... but come back to us soon! Lou xxx

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  35. Hi Lana, it's so good to see this post from you. I'm so happy for you that you're returning to work. I hope your return to the work force treats you well. Of course nobody needs to work simply for money! I'm sure you'll find it fulfilling in many other ways.
    Best of luck (of course you don't need it).

    http://shortandsweetjoy.blogspot.com/

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  36. Lana, I'm glad that you doing better, yes all the good things come with time and you will heal!I'm glad that you are doing back to work yes it gives you some thing to do besides sitting at home and I know you are very independent person that is great thing that has helped you through this sad time, you are right GOD dose have plan for all of us! If I was thin enough and tall enough I would do the flying thing it looks like so much fun and amazing!
    You really don't look your age at all you look amazing! I hop that this finds you well

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  37. I really miss your videos, Lana. I am very happy to read this, you have allowed yourself to mourn, but yet you are beginning to move on. That is healthy. Keep moving forward.

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  39. You are too much of a treasure to be stuck within 4 walls anyhow Lana. Work will be good for you....I'm pleased you are finding your way again. (((hugs))) xxxooo

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  40. Lana,
    Take all the time you need before coming back to YouTube but hurry up!! We need you! xoxo

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  41. I am so happy that you posted this. I check back regularly to see if you have been "here". It's good to hear you are going back to work.

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  42. OMG! I am soooo happy to hear from you. I'm glad you're enjoying Florida. It always rejuvenates me as well. I can't wait till you are back!!!

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  43. Good to read your post and know you're getting back on your feet, or better stilettos. You're an inspiration to many and a friendly voice to even more. Regards,
    Paola.

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  44. I was so surprised to see you writing again Lana. Good Luck with your new endeavors and keep thinking positive. I can here the positivity in your writing. You are truly missed on YouTube and look forward to seeing you again - if only to say hello! Blessings and good health to you...Annmarie from Michigan!

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  45. Like so many have stated, I too am so happy to hear from you...I always check and today well what do you know a treat to see words from the heart. Yes indeed it's going to take time...precious time. God Bless you for staying in touch with a stranger(s) who care. :)

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  46. Rooting for you Lana, always and forever! Whoever you end up flying for is extremely fortunate to have you. i miss your videos lots but wish you the very best and hope that you are happy. God bless you~~ ❤Patti

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  47. May the day be filled with happy memories of Henry.

    ~♥~

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  48. Lana I forget that you have a blog. I was so used to seeing you on YT. I'm so glad that you've decided to go back to something you loved doing. You need to keep busy. I know your husband is always in your heart. You deserve to have some happiness in life & to live it at it's fullest. So glad you've made some good changes in your life. You've been through the top stresses in life within a year. God bless you Lana in everything you do. I hope to see your videos whenever your ready to post them. Hope it will be soon. Love you.

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  49. So glad to see you are moving forward. Grieving over a loved one is a process and different for each person. I've never met you but feel like I've known you all my life...you will be fine. More that fine. Xoxo

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  50. I'm glad you are staying busy. Miss you on YT. Stay strong!

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  51. Lana,
    It is so great to hear from you. You're too beautiful.May God bless you with strength..

    Love you and looking forward to new posts and videos. xx

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  52. <---- doing a dance! YIPEE!!!! She's BACK !!! I was getting worried there, but I too, when I saw you in my sub box was delighted! I am glad you are going back to work, it will indeed put your spirit in a different place - idle hands and all that! So happy to see your face I cannot express. I'll keep the prayers going for you, till I see that sparkle again...

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  53. YOU'RE SO VERY MISSED. BE WELL.

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  54. You have so much yet to offer...in many ways. Hold your head high and know that many of us are thrilled you will be sharing your inspirations for life, beauty, humor, and adventure with us again. Much love and BIG (((((HUGS)))))!

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  55. Hi Lana, I always watched your videos and love them all. You are such positive inspiration. I am new to your blog, just joined in. I am a new blogger. I am so sorry for your loss. Wish you all the best and keep yourself busy and be strong. I used to work in a airline before but now I am a stay a home mommy of a beautiful little princess and I also have my own little online boutique. It's nice to see you are keeping busy.
    Big hug from Toronto
    Claudia

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  56. how do I send you a private email

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    1. Hi Lana and was so good to hear from you and I'm glad to see that you're back to work that way and also give you a sense of identity nothing sitting at home thinking too much I'm so glad to hear things are starting to look up To you and would love to see some more YouTube videos I missed them so much love always

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  57. So good to see you back. I just watched your "menopause" video on YOUTUBE and cracked up. I pray you are doing well and healing as much as anyone can after such a hard loss.

    Looking forward to more videos soon and keeping up with you on your blog.

    ~ Lisa from Greenfield, Indiana ~

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  58. Dear Friend- even though we just "met" through You Tube, I have such a heart for you. I have read about your childhood and I am shocked, amazed at how you overcame, horrified but so proud of you all at the same time. I am speechless. You can certainly see God's hand on your life. I look forward to getting to know such an extraordinary woman... and hearing about your new job!

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  59. You looks great! I am so happy you are back, thank you for sharing your story and God bless you always!

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  60. I love that outfit!!
    Much love,
    Wengie
    http://www.wengie.com

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  61. AWESOME....so glad you are back. I never posted much but once u stopped making videos....I sure missed you. Love the hair and face lift video and even the one on your car problems. Great to share the good and the not so good. Glad u made it back to IN safely! Welcome Home!

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