Sunday, March 4, 2012

Chapter 18

Alone With Bob

A change in geography doesn't change Bob or Barbara in the least. It is warmer here and much prettier than the farm fields of Indiana but not much else has changed in our secret home.



Barbara has simply learned new techniques on how to punch and hurt and avoid bruises and scars showing up on young pale skin.
She has learned to put an orange in a sock and swing.
It hurts!
Over and over her new pal, her "sock puppet" swings whenever she feels the urge to inflict pain because her life is so intolerable or her sick mind so insane.


We are now living in a trailer in an over-grown mobile home park on the edge of town. Not a great place but Heaven to me.


We left Indiana in the early Spring of my Freshman year of high school.
I loved school. It was my escape. My only connection to normal.
I was good at school. I made good grades.
I was popular despite my tattered torn appearance.


Bob and Barb for whatever reason decides to NOT enroll me in school for this last fraction of a semester.
My heart is so heavy for that. Begging and pleading to go to school will do nothing more than lead me down a Primrose path to NEVER get enrolled back in school. I knew if I even mentioned wanting to go to school it would be denied to me no matter what the truancy laws were in the state of Florida.
What kid wants to go to school?
Me!


Sure, I was rotten at Algebra but excelled in English, Biology, Literature etc.
I needed school.
I needed the escape and knew that education would and could set me free.
No one can EVER take or beat your education out of you. It feeds your mind.
I hungered for it. School.
An education could help me escape this nightmare.
Oh, how I wanted to be enrolled in school!


Somehow, in my very young mind I was constantly looking for an escape.
Not going to try to run into a field of corn this time but I was always working something in my mind to run.
Run where?
This state was so foreign to me. I didn't know where the county courthouse was, Welfare Department or any law enforcement agency.
I instinctively knew I would need to keep my eyes and ears wide open for that glimmer of an opportunity.
Escape.
I dreamed of it.
Tasted it.


My fear and loathing of Bob was like a physical ache. Trying to avoid a huge man in a small trailer was practically impossible.
His sweaty grunting over-sized tattooed body was always near.
He would open the shower stall while I was showering.
He would sneak by my dirty blanket which was my bed on the floor of the trailer. Lean down and try to touch me without waking me or the household.
One of us would win this war. I prayed every night it was me.
My window of hope was quickly closing....


I was home all day remember? No school.
Barbara and my sister both found work at a nursing home. Their kids enrolled in an elementary school.


Alone with Bob....
To this day, That thought can still make me shudder in complete and absolute fear....

207 comments:

  1. One part of your chapter jumped off the page at me dearest Lana - "No one can EVER take or beat your education out of you. It feeds your mind."

    I'm pretty sure these two ignorant, stupid, ugly monsters knew you were bright and very capable and made it one of their major tasks to ensure it was difficult for you to further your education. They tried to emotionally suck the life out of you like vampires and break you. Your success in life is proof to us all that education as well as determination can take us pretty much anywhere we want to be. Without it we may as well be handicapped.

    You never cease to amaze me my dear sweet Lana. Warmest affection and much love. xxxooo

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  2. You're on my mind, Missy L. On my mind and in my prayers. Much love. ~Trish

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  3. LOVE YOU Lana... I notice your hesitation in writing lately, maybe its because of what happens to you in the next few chapters?? "It" is sometimes hard to write about because it is the worst pain that stays with you forever, putting it on paper makes it real to all who love you. Stay strong...

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  4. love you! I missed you and your writing! Hope for a nice conclusion to this horror movie! Love you! Alexanna.

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  5. So sad and so scary that must have been Lana.... :'( (((Hugs))) <333

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  6. Bless you sweet Lana~ I'm listening..

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  7. Oh Lana, I just want to give you a great big hug. God bless you! ~Marilyn <3

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  8. I cannot WAIT to hear how you escape!!!

    How is Henry doing??

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  9. Thinking of you Lana, praying for Henry and all you are going through! I want to do something for you, wish I could, instead you are doing something for others! Telling your story will help so many that are or have endured abuse! I'm sure it's difficult for you to share but know that it will turn into a blessing in the end! I hang on your every word, God bless you!

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  10. You're not posting anywhere.... Worrying....

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  11. i keep checking back each day, looking for the next chapter. I'm worried about you, dear Lana. You are strong.

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  12. Oh Lana, my heart breaks as I read these pages. I transcribe stories of a similar nature far too often and have for the past 20 years. Child abuse and neglect are by far the hardest for me to deal with. I thought I had a pretty hard life as a kid, not growing up with a silver spoon or a college scholarship.... Until I became an adult and worked for a police department, I never really knew what reality really was. My prayers are with you sweet lady.

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  13. I'm also worrying about you and Henry. I send love to you both.
    Mary Sue

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  14. Lana you're in my thoughts daily...I'm a bit worried :( I pray that everything is ok with you & Henry...I pray that God gives both of you hope, courage, strength, comfort and Lots of faith to overcome any obstacle that may come your way. God Bless and I will not stop praying sweet Lana. XOXO

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  15. Dear Lana, I can't tell you how much I want to read that you and your sister finally taste freedom and before Bob lays a hand on young Lana. Diane xoxo

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  17. Hope your ok Lana, you haven't posted for a long time. :(

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  18. If anyone here knows Lana can you please leave an update in the comments at least letting us know she's okay. It's been awhile since she's posted anything, we're all worried about her. I hope all is well with you Lana.

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  19. One short sentence, "Alone with Bob". Oh Lana! I so understand the utter dread, cold sweats, fluttering heart, and absolute fear you felt. Only my three words were, "Alone with Dad"!

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  21. Hi Lana, I'm thinking of you and Henry, you are both in my thoughts always. God bless you and you family and I hope you had pleasant Eater. Sending strength and courage to you my friend, you have always encourage me to be kind to myself and make me feel special. I've never met anyone that has fought as hard as you and still has the time to be kind to strangers on youtube. The amount of strength,courage and faith you have is inspiring. I love you Lana, sending you all the love in the world and pray your keep that positive attitude and never stop smiling. May God's blessings carry you through this difficult time and bring you to complete happiness. Know that you are being prayed for every day....Much love BIG hugs Margaret x x x x

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  22. Lana -- let us know how you/Henry are doing. We all feel like you are such a dear friend. We are worried because of the silence. OXOX

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  23. Lana, You and Henry are always in my prayers. With love and hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  24. Lana, I hope you and Henry are doing well, I think about you daily as I check your blog and youtube hoping for an update, I am so worried! Love and prayers to you and your family!

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  25. I really hope your are so busy with some kind of wonderful trip or something. But just in case i'm sending prayers yours & Henry's way.
    Amy

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  26. Lana, hoping everything is ok, sending you love.

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  27. Just stopping in to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  28. Lots of love sent your way! Jeanie

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  29. I'm starting to feel like a stalker, I am worrying about you two so...

    I, too, am hoping you & Henry have run off on a glorious trip and are having a ball!

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  30. Just stopping in to let you know that you are greatly loved by so many people, Lana. God bless you and Henry. hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  31. Hi Lana. I miss you and hope that you and Henry are happy and healthy. Wishing you the best,
    Joy

    P.S. Thank you for selflessly taking the time to make me feel better last Christmas!

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  32. Lana, Hope Everything is ok, we miss You and your videos...

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  33. Lana, miss you and I hope you and Henry are okay, sending love your way.
    VIcki

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  34. Lana:

    Just want you to know I miss you and am thinking of you.

    MrsSuze51

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  35. Lana:

    Just want you to know I miss you and am thinking of you.

    MrsSuze51

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  36. Lana:

    Just want you to know I miss you and am thinking of you.

    MrsSuze51

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  37. Just stopping in to let you know that I am thinking of you. You are in my prayers. Hugs,~~Marilyn ❤

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  38. Hi Lana I miss you and think about you and Henry all the time. I hope you are ok. Worried, but sending constant prayers and thoughts. Love to you From Nancy ( CocoPink44)

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  39. Just checking in, hoping all is well, love ya.

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  40. Lana - I am so worried that you have lost your beloved Henry. I cannot think of any other reason you would be gone so long unless something happened to you. It's a strange feeling, one the one hand feeling a part of your life and on another knowing that really we aren't. That something could happen and we'd never hear from you again... just know that we love you and hope to hear some news soon.

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    1. ON the one hand... sorry for the typo - our prayers and thoughts are with you.

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    2. Been praying for months. No word from dear Lana has me really concerned in my heart.

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    3. @Ramona I didn't say they were - I said I was AFRAID please do NOT mis quote me.

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  41. Miss you so much Lana! sending you and your Husband my deepest and fondest well wishes! Kelly XXX

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  42. Trying to think positive thoughts and throwing prayers your way. We are all so worried about the two of you, I hope things are not in a bad way where you are. XOX ~calvikingchick

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  43. My dad had this same kind of cancer. Throat cancer tends to spread and spread quickly. It can go anywhere.
    My dad's metastasized to his brain less than a year after his treatment was finished and he was, shall we say difficult to deal with in his final weeks and months.
    Let's respect Lana's privacy and show her we care but do not leave comments that even mention the word dead, ok? We all know how much Lana loves and is devoted to her husband.
    I have a strong feeling she is dealing with a lot of issues right now.
    We're here because we care but probing too far could be considered nosey at this time.

    Stay Strong. We are here for you when you need us.

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  44. Lana it's been a while still keeping you and Henry in my prayers.

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  45. I'm still here too Lana, continued prayers...

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  46. Lana, you are so greatly loved and cared about. You are in my prayers. With love and hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  47. Lana, missing u so much...think of u and Henry daily..may u be blessed..know that u r in my prayers and so many people r surrounding u in their love and well wishes.---Patti---

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  48. Your blog is the first thing I check in the morning.

    Thinking & praying for you & Henry daily.

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  49. RIP, Henry. I hope you're well enough to come back to us soon, Lana, because we all love and miss you so much.

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    1. Do not comment falsehoods. That is cruel.

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    2. Kelly, do you know Lana and Henry personally? I certainly hope you haven't "jumped the gun" here and posted something on which you are not fully and factually informed and gotten us all "riled up" unnecessarily. Until Lana herself updates us personally on her and Henry's well being, I for one will continue to hold out hope.
      Lana, I'm not usually one to comment either here or your Youtube channel, but I want to let you know you and yours are in my thoughts daily. Big hugs being sent your way. We miss "our" Lana. <3 -;-@

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  50. Kelly...what?! I truly hope you are wrong.

    Sending many blessings and love your way Lana, Henry and family.

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  51. Thinking of you, Lana. And sending hugs your way. Hopefully you can feel a collective hug with our loving arms around you from all of us who adore you.

    Norma in Oregon

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  52. Lana, I've been thinking about you and checking your blog periodically. I hope that, somehow, just knowing that I and others are out here thinking about you helps at least a little.

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  53. Thinking of you Lana and your family. Huge hugs.

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  54. Dearest Lana,
    I hope and pray and check your blog and Youtube daily and want to let you know I (and my husband) are thinking of you, your Henry and family.
    Sending you much love and strength always.
    We all love you so very much!
    Hugs,
    Shelliebill *Youtube

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  55. You are so loved, Lana. Along with so many others, I think about you and your family often. I miss you.
    Hugs,
    Mary Sue

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  56. This is really disturbing. I wonder if something happened to dearest Lana? How would we ever know?

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  57. Lana,
    I feel lost right now, I feel like you have gone away, far away, deep inside your beautiful heart, I pray you are healing with your family. I am thinking of you and miss you so much-my heart is sadden, not knowing about Henry, but only guessing your grieving heart is hurting,I am praying for peace in your life.
    Bonnie

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  58. Lana.....................have been checking your blog almost daily like so many others, hoping to hear word that you are okay. We miss you and hope and pray that everything somehow is okay. You are a beautiful soul and you have so many of us out here who care about you. You are so inspiring in so many different ways to all of us...........we are here for you. We miss you. Sonja

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  59. Thinking about you... Miss you... Please reach out if you need someone to talk to.

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  60. Thinking of you today, Lana. I am sending many prayers up for you and Henry. You are so dearly loved. Please take care sweet one. Hugs,~Marilyn

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  61. Keeping good thoughts and hope for you.

    Hearts and thoughts.

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  62. May God strengthen you and Henry.May you both have peace and a miracle.

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  63. followed your youtube videos and they guided me over here, this was not what i was expecting to find, i wanted to tell you how amazing you look and that i cannot believe your 56 years old. INCREDIBLE! But now that seems insignificant, after reading what i have read in your blog here. I am 42 next month and always swore i will write my life story, to be read after i have passed away as it would be too painful to write at the moment and there are too many people still living who would be ruined by it , in one way or another. I think you are an incredibly brave lady. god bless you and keep you strong. You give off such a positive happy vibe no one would know your past. I hope , i try to do the same, but not always successfully. I hope that your husband gets well and that writing your memories down like this helps you, i know it will help many others. Your an inspiration. Lots of love - elaine x

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  64. LANA~ You and Henry have been on my mind daily..Just want you to know.

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  65. Hi Lana, just thought I'd pop in for a moment and wish you (and your viewers/readers too!) a happy Mother's Day. :)

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  66. Lana, today like a lot of other days I'm thinking about you and Henry, praying for you both.

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  67. Dearest Lana,

    I hope you are doing well. I miss your videos and blog updates. I think of you often, and hope you come back soon! xo

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  68. Miss you and praying for you and your family. Send us a note when you can *hugs*

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  69. Simply put i miss you :( i wish i could give you a big hug...... I hope you are ok. Lean on everyone that you can..... I have been praying for your sweet Henry and for you to have the strength you need. My heart breaks for you and i will be here for you when you are ready to come back. Faith, Hope & Love Anita

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  70. Sending you love, Lana, come back to us when you can.

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  71. Concerned for you being away so long. xx

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  72. Oh Lana, I really miss you. Praying. Every day I use the triangle eyeshadow tool you sent me and pray for you and your family.

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  73. Hi Sweet Lana, You and Henry are in my prayers. You are so very loved and missed. Please take care of you! With love, prayers and hugs,~ ~Marilyn ❤

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  74. I know you don't know me but I watch your youtube videos and I've read your blog....I've noticed that you haven't been around for a couple months now. I am v-e-r-y concerned cause you have always seen like such a nice girl :-) ...and I know your husband is very ill. I think about you and wonder how you both are everytime I log into youtube. Please know that there are complete strangers who care about what you're going through. ***Rene' from Montana***

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  75. Miss you Lana. Where ever you are, I hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope you come back to us whenever your heart and mind desires to do so, we're all here thinking of you and Henry. Much love to you Lana, may God bless you with strength and patience to get through this rough patch in your life.

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  76. We love you! I truly hope all is well, you are an amazing woman. Your smiles and big heart really are amazing to come by. I just hope you are alright. Peace and blessings to you and your family!

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  77. Father hear our prayers. Grant peace,strength and a miracle.

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  78. Hi dear precious, Lana. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and Henry. With love and hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  79. I'm still here too. Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

    flopo

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  80. LANA i wanted to check on you= you have been heavily on my mind lately- hope the world is being kind to you- i miss your beautiful face and voice- i want to pick you up- take you out to lunch- have a coffee- laugh a lot- talk about how we grew up OK despite crazy people surrounding us~. i miss you my freind- x shelly (magicadespell56)

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  81. My husband and I check your blog often. Hope you and Henry are doing ok. Miss you!

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  82. No matter how bad it could be we cantt stand to see you suffer, know how much you are loved and come back to us. I don't care how you look but just to seeandyou

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  83. I keep hoping to read something from Lana, just one word that she is ok, and that's it, just one little word, i know it's selfish because she has very difficult issues to deal with right now, but still i keep hoping.
    Wishing you all the strength Lana, miss u

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  84. Lana, You are so very dearly loved and missed. You are in my prayers. Big hugs, Marilyn ❤

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  85. I miss you Lana
    I check your blog about 5 times a day.
    I'm so worried about you and Henry.

    I feel terribly selfish saying I hope you update because you're obviously going through the toughest time of your life. I hope you're okay - we all love you.

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  86. I'm feeling the same way as Kerry. I'm checking you blog all the time and I know each time I dont see an update it must be bad, very bad, news.

    We need you. We need to know what is going on in your life. We need to put our arms around you and keep you safe and make sure you know that you are loved.

    Abase

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  87. Lana, my heart breaks for you!!!! I check here almost daily to see if you have checked in and when I don't see anything my heart feels so heavy with sadness. I miss you so much my sweet friend :( I continue & will not stop praying for you, Henry, and your family. I hope you can feel all the Love and support from us all. God Bless

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  88. Lana dear, just checking. Come back to us when you can. Sending love as always.

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  89. Dearest Lana,
    You don't know me but I pray for you and your family daily. Your smile has brightened many of my days and your laughter has made me laugh as well. My heart aches for your pain, and I pray you find your way back to us soon. I hope you know that whatever you are dealing with, or how heavy your heart may be, you are important and are so very deeply cared about!

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  90. Come back, Lana! You're not alone. Hugs to you...

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  91. Three times I put a comment and it's been erased. Interesting. My comment had to do with wondering a) Does anyone know Lana's last name? b) Does anyone know anyone she knows (i.e. family/friends) c) How would we ever know if something happened to her?

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    1. All three times I posted the page gave indication it was posted successfully too...

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    2. I imagine she is hoping we will all respect her privacy at this difficult time.
      Sure, I would love to know more but to press for information right now is being shall we say selfish?
      I did get a private tweet from her about 2 weeks ago saying how much she appreciates my support etc so I know she is at the least okay.
      When my dad was ill and during his last months and days, my entire family went into lock down mode. All focus is pointed at getting by one day at a time. It's a difficult time to put it mildly.
      She will be back, she probably just has a lot on her plate right now. Google, YouTube etc are probbaly not her priorities at this time so probing into her private life is pushing the envelope and I mean that in the nicest way so please don't take offense. Putting her private information out there could be dangerous to her as well if she is now alone.

      Lana, Peace Be With You.
      You are loved. We are here when you return.
      Remember to smile and care for yourself.

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    3. I agree with the bit about putting her private info out here...for sure. I was just wondering if anyone had it in order to at least establish nothing happened to her -physically. Thank you so much for posting just that much. I just lost a friend (40) last week to esophageal cancer. He has a 12 year old son too. It was really tough. He knew in January he had 6 months to live and almost to the day he passed. All other peripheral relationships/activities take second fiddle...for sure. Thank you again dear for posting the update and direction for prayer.

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    4. I too understand about being private - but we are now in a world where we feel close to someone who posts on youtube, twitter, etc... so when they "fall off the face of the earth" it's hard to deal with... so thank you for your post saying you heard from her ... that was a relief. Our continued prayers, and patience... for Lana's return.

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  92. Lana Sweetheart, just one word to let us know your surviving. We love you and will do anything we can to support you. Always by your side.

    Your friend,
    floridapossum

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  93. Father. Protect those who suffer and soothe their hearts and mind. Comfort them when their are no arms to hold them. Through Christ we pray.
    I prayed this for you, Lana and those.
    Andrea
    Lulufullana

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  94. I just saw a few Valentino bags with studded bows and thought of you. ( ◠‿◠ )

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  95. Sending my Thoughts and Prayers your way. Missing ya! XOXO

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  96. Hello, Dear Lana ~ You are cared for and missed so very, very much. Please take care. Love and hugs, Mary Sue

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  97. Lana, You and Henry remain in my thoughts and prayers. You are so greatly loved. big hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  98. Prayer at night can calm our fears and help us sleep through the night

    We all know how to get our bodies ready for bed. We undress, put on pajamas, brush our teeth. But what about our souls? What do we do with our fears? Our longings? Our hurts? Our inspiration?

    A prayer at night can help us embrace sleep instead of fighting it. It can help us to learn from darkness instead of fearing it. It can bring comfort to our minds and hearts. It can transform our worries into awe, our tension into trust, our restlessness into peace.

    When you lie down in bed, spend a minute telling God what you need to say. May sweet sleep surround you all night long.

    A night prayer

    With the darkness comes Your light. Earth and sky blend into one, the heavens seem closer now, the day’s burdens farther somehow. Your presence is almost palpable.
    Watch over me, God, body and soul. Stay beside me through the night. Protect me from harm. Banish my fears. Send me dreams that are sweet, fill my heart with Your peace, set my mind at ease. And, at first light, please, restore me to new life. Amen.❤

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  99. Miss you Lana...and thinking of you and your family xxx

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  100. Once again, just wanted to say, I am thinking of you and your family. Hugs.

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  101. ❀ ✿ ❁ ❀ ✿ ❁ ❀

    ♥ ♥ ♥

    ❀ ✿ ❁ ❀ ✿ ❁ ❀

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  102. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Was suppose to be a flower. Was a fail instead.

      Still here.

      ~♥~

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  103. Always praying for you and your family Lana. With love and hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  104. I hope today held some joy for your family. ~♥~

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  105. Oh Sweet Lana, just a word from you. We love you and are praying for you.

    Forever,
    flopo

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  106. Dearest Lana, Thinking of you tonight. With love and hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  107. Sending you hugs from TEXAS.

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  108. We are still thinking and praying for you...

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  109. Still in my thoughts and prayers Lana. Sending hugs your way. Xoxo

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  110. praying for you tonight dear Lana....

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  111. So very sorry to here of Henry's passing Lana.
    Sending you my deepest sympathies. We all love and care about you .
    ~Jan

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    1. Where did you hear of his passing?? I can't find anything to confirm it... maybe I'm not looking in the right places...?

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  112. Oh Lana.... I hoped there would be a miracle. I'm so very sorry.

    "Today, to honor Henry at this sad time, please commit one random act of kindness to another. That was how Henry lived his life."

    Will do.

    ~♥~

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  113. so heartbreaking news..my prayers for her and the rest of the family..

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  114. Very very sad news. Thinking of you and your family, Lana. x

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    1. He is with our Lord now.Prayers offered for you.

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  116. Dearest Lana,

    I am so very sorry to learn of your sweet, beloved husbands passing. Sending love and strength your and your family's way. xxoo

    Shelliebill (youtube)

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  117. Oh Lana :(

    I'm so sorry - he will be in a better place with no pain and he will be FLAWLESS now. He won't have a worry in the world. He will be healthy again. He'll be perfect again.
    I know you're not ok, but he will be around you - he will be there, you just won't be able to see him, but he'll be with you every single second of each and every day.

    We all love you, we all are praying and hoping you will get through this heart breaking time.

    We love you Lana :(

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  118. Lana, I'm very sorry for your loss.

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  119. Lana,

    Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss.

    Please know you are surrounded in love.

    Hearts and thoughts. x

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  120. Lana, I can't describe how sorry I am for your loss, he is in a better place now, we all prayed so hard for a miricle, we are still praying for you and you're family.
    Xoxo

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  121. i am really sorry for your loss. unfortunatelly the pain will need a lot of time to go away.as for the loss it wont go away, but you ll learn to live with it. Just remember that you are not alone Lana. you are not. Love you.

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  122. Thinking of you today, Lana :(

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  123. Asking for you to have extra strength the next few days.

    I don't know if it makes it better or worse for Henry to have been such a good husband, but I pray it is of some comfort to have the good memories to think of.

    ~♥~

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  124. Lana, I wish there was something I could do or say.....you are loved. I am so very sad for you but know you have family there to lean on. Please lean on them. prayers and hugs
    Jeanie

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  125. Lana, My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Love
    MrsSuze51

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  126. She posted a very tender message on twitter. I was going to put it here but I don't know if she would like that, but it makes me think that that was her way of saying thank you to everyone for all the support. Dear Lana I want to express my most sencire condolences. And also I want to thank you for your example, for showing me what a great marriage is all about. I admire the fact that you focused %100 on your husband and put everything else aside , you are a very special person. I am praying for you, that Heavenly Father can bless you with peace and with patience to wait until the day you can see your dear husband again. Love you

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  127. Thank You Everyone for your amazing and kind messages. I am so Blessed by all of you.

    Today, I say goodbye to him forever. He looked so beautiful at the showing. So peaceful.
    I'm sorry I asked for the obit to be removed. Someone called my house and said horrible things about my husband's death. Laughing that he was dead.
    Our last name was published. I spoke many things about our private lives but didn't ever post our last name out of respect for Henry.

    He wanted to be at home when he passed. I held him in my arms. The priest gave him The Last Rites.
    He took 3 deep breaths and was gone.
    No more cancer. No more pain.
    I miss him so much. He was and always be my best friend.

    Rest In Peace my darling. You are loved by so many as shown here as well. I miss you so much it hurts.
    I will love you forever.
    You had so many pulling for you. I thought we could beat it, we fought so hard and you were so brave, but The Good Lord needed you too.

    I love you all. xo

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    1. God bless him and God bless you Lana. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of him with us, it was a wonderful gift you gave us and it's a wonderful gift you also give with letting us know you. I hope your memories and love of him help make this rough time somehow easier for you to endure.
      Love and hugs sweet girl.

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    2. my sweet Lana, i do feel ur sorrow and pain...but he is in the arms of our dear Lord right now, and he will be with you no matter what..i lost my mum last year, from a rare type of cancer and she was only 57..its horrible missing the ones you love, but keep him alive in your heart, and feel blessed u met him and shared with him moments of true love..he will be with you for ever, and be strong and brave..and dodnt stop loving him...and dont stop smilling..it takes time, i know..but just think that he doesnt want you to be sad...God bless you...

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    3. I am so sorry Lana. Ugh, words can't describe how much I feel for you. Your message brought me to tears.
      How could a human being be so evil? How could someone laugh at that? It makes me truly sick.

      Stay strong Lana, we all love you. And I hope that mindless so and so regrets what they said to you.

      We love you, Lana.

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    4. Lana, we all love you :) Stay strong, I can't believe someone called your house and did that to you, it sickens me, that after all you have been through, someone would have the nerve to do that. He is with the lord now, and may he rest in peace.

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    5. Lana, first of all my most sincere condolences to you and your family. I truly am so saddened to hear this news today after logging in. The love of your life is now on another beautiful journey and one day he will be standing with open arms to receive you & be reunited again with the love of his life. Until then I'm confident that you have so many beautiful memories that will keep you smiling until you meet again. Sending hugs and love your way Lana, your friend Araceli Xoxoxoxo

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  128. Oh Lana. There are really no words. I am so terribly sorry. May the Lord help you find the peace you need right now. Just remember...you will see your darling Henry again.
    With love,
    Candice

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  129. May you find strength with friends, family, nature and prayer.

    MrsSuze51

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  130. Thinking of you today, Lana. x

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  131. Most amazing version of Psalm 23 for you dear dear Lana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68766Zvof90

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  132. Mourner's Kaddish...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOXc__Oyahc

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  133. Psalm 2:4 "He who sits in the heavens laughs,
    The Lord scoffs at them." The Most High God has the LAST laugh! This message is to the one who called your house. Dispicable! I'm mourning with you dear dear Lana.

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  134. Hi Lana, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that your beloved Henry has passed. I just searched the internet to find out how he was doing and my heart sank when I saw your twitter notes about it. May he rest in eternal peace and I am only glad his terrible suffering is over. I'm so sorry again Lana. May God watch over you now during this horrible time

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  135. My Dearest Lana, my heart is breaking for you. I can't even imagine the loss. My prayers are with you and your family. Your precious Henry is free. He is with you I know.

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  136. Thinking of, and praying for, you, the grandbabies, and all who lost him. (even Izzy & Rockie)

    ~♥~

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  137. Oh, Lana, I wish I could give you a huge hug. My heart is breaking from reading your words. We were all praying for a miracle for Henry. I'm sorry to hear that anyone could be so cruel as to make a call to your home. God bless you dear one. May He give you the strength you need to get through this horrible time of grief. Honey, just remember, one day you and Henry will be together again in Heaven. I love you so much, Lana. Please take care of you! Hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  138. Dear Lana, Before I go to bed tonight, I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you, Lana. Hugs,~Marilyn ❤

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  139. So sorry for your news. Keep strong

    Suzi

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  140. Lana, I just heard in one of Charlotte's videos that your husband has passed, and I wanted to write on some forum connected to you and say that I am so sorry you have lost your beloved husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are some sad messages on Charlotte's channel too (under the video entitled "I'm A Mumbler"). I hope we hear from you soon!

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  141. Dearest Lana, Thinking of you this morning as I do often. Lots of Love Nancy ( CocoPink44)

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  142. oh lana im so sorry to hear this news i was praying and had you both in my thoughts everyday take care my beautiful friend xxxxx,

    melissa aka TheButterflyDiva

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  143. Lana, My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    SNUGGLED CLOSE TO JESUS

    When daybreak streams through morning clouds, and I'm not there to see
    I hope you'll wipe the tears from your eyes , as you remember me
    My time on earth has ended and you must walk alone
    But please remember the time we shared for that will linger on.

    Don't weep at lost tomorrow's, for I am here you see,
    My memory will rest inside you, just as yours does in me.
    Don't waste your tears and sorrow, don't dwell on yesterdays.
    God sent an angel for me, and now I'm home to stay

    God sits upon His golden throne encircled with a light
    It shines througout the heavens all day and through the night
    I snuggle close to Jesus, his arms encircle me
    And when I look into His eyes, its only love I see

    Don't weep because I've left you, my body's finally free
    I feel no pain as you do, when you remember me
    Eternity is glorious, my days are filled with joy
    Remember what He promised us, eternity forever more

    (((angel hugs))) Donna

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