Thursday, December 15, 2011

Chapter 6

Humiliation.


I think these two people must have lain awake in bed at night to dream up new ways to humiliate my sister and I.


5th Grade.


Lunch time.
I open my lunch bag so ready for a bite of food. Hunger was a way of life for me. Always hungry. Always worried when the next meal would be. 


Back to my lunch in it's brown paper bag. The top folded over so carefully. 
All my friends seated at the same long table, eating the food from the school cafeteria. It always smelled so good. Like it was cooked with love for children. Sloppy Joe's on the menu today. The wonderful sweet smell permeating the cafeteria.
The lunchroom is full as usual at noon. Children chattering and laughing. All of my friends eating, joking and talking about the new boy in our class that is so cute. 
"Lana, have you seen him? He's dreamy."
Nodding "yes" and laughing
I pull my sandwich out of the bag and unwrap the wax paper it's packaged in and hurriedly take a huge bite. Going to school works up an appetite. 


In seconds, I am choking and running to the Girl's Room coughing but trying to hide it. 


Face red. Embarrassed. Sick.
I slam open the stall door. Gagging and spitting. Using my hands to scrape it off my tongue.... Anything to get the vile bite of food out of my mouth.....
The sandwich was coated on both sides with red HOT Tabasco Sauce and mouse droppings. I could feel them in my mouth. 
Tiny crunchy bits of black.
Hot and disgusting.


Did anyone see?
What would all the other kids say if they knew I just ate a mouthful of mouse poop coated in hot sauce between two slices of bread?
I scrub my mouth over and over, splash water in my face to hide the tears that have streaked my face.
No lunch again today. 


What will tomorrow be?

21 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! How horrible. I am so sorry that you went through this. I hope these people eventually were found out and paid for there actions.

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  2. Love you Sweetie!

    Please light a candle and pray for our wonderful Lana, and her intrepid Henry at:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=LI

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  3. Monsters - how could anyone do that? I'm sure you have asked yourself that over and over again. Much love to you sweet pea!

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  4. Oh my... How could anyone do that?

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  5. These demonic people must have been so filled with hate and loathe, resentment and jealousy beyond the realms of a normal individual's imagination Lana! What putrid minds they must have had to be so wicked to you and your siblings! I can't begin to comprehend how dear God in Heaven would permit such suffering for you to endure, but you came out of it Lana, shining in all your goodness, sweetness and beauty and what attempts those wicked people made to destroy you, has thankfully had the complete opposite effect. You're one of life's angels sweetheart. Much love. :) xxxooo

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  6. I just cant believe people can do those things to kids, but you are truly an inspiration, you are an amazing and strong woman, I mean you even volunteer to CASA! in the end it looks like you came out on top and good for you!! you deserve it, my best wishes to you and your husband Lana.
    Take care.
    Evelyn.

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  7. I am so sorry Lana! I dont understand how people can be so cruel! I am so sad! But thank God you are grown and can take care of yourself. I can't imagine... Oh dear Lord. Please protect little kids and their tiny hearts from any pain such as this or any other horrible things people can come up with. So sad.... I pray God has dealt with that monster!

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  8. Lana, each chapter really leaves me more and more speechless. My heart breaks for you. :( God Bless you my sweet dear friend. Continued prayers for you and your love Henry. May God protect, comfort, and soothe your hearts. Have a Great Christmas and I wish and pray that 2012 be filled with many many blessings for you, Henry and all your family!!! (((HUG)))

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  9. I hope the flames of Hell are burning them for all eternity. I just don't understand how anyone can be so cruel to a child. I see a child & smile. I want to hug & kiss them. I will pray always for children. God bless you & Henry this holiday season. He's always in my prayers. You are also. I can't forget one of the sweetest ladies around.

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  11. This has got to be the worst child abuse I have heard, but sadly, I have witnessed first hand, that it happens across all countries and social classes. My experience is abuse is often subtle and is not always as tangible as the terrible abuse that you suffered: neglect, no friends or interaction, no proper food or care, parents too busy with careers and themselves, and yet if you reported this to the authorities they would laugh in your face! The thing is though...you have become the antitheses of those hateful people and everything they did to you and wanted you to become...you are a living angel Lana....continued prayers always for you and Henry xox

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  12. Boy, what sadistic people they were! They had no love or compassion in them! I am so sorry you were abused like you were. They did not win in the end. You are an amazing person!

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  14. No wonder you are such a strong person today. I'm glad you chose to be brave.

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  15. My heart goes out to you Lana. What a brave woman you are to bring this out in the open like you have. You have such a gift with your words that sometimes I forget that this is not a fiction book that I'm reading but something horrible that actually happens all too often. You and your husband continue to be in my prayers and I keep checking your blog daily looking to read about his bill of health. Lord willing, he will place His healing hand on Henry and make him well. I also pray that He gives you the peace and serenity that only He can provide. May the Lord bless you and your family.

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  16. Seems the worse they got the nicer you became, well done for breaking the chain xxxxxxxxxxJoolsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  17. well,the mental institution are not big enought for those: psychopat,sociopath,cruel people! What afflict me is the none help,you've been thru! Nobody seen that you were burned?nobody seen that you were beaten?nobody seen that you were hungry? Nobody seen that you were hurted and neglated? How come? I don't understand that...the none help! Hope help will come soon!hope help will be in your life forever!help!that's what your face was screaming! Love you!may god heal your heart and pain...pink pink pink is the color of love.love yourself more for those who didn't!alexanna.

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  18. How could anyone be so cruel to children?

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  19. SERIOUSLY!!!! This HEINOUS WITCH and disgrace of a "woman" has officially transcended sadistic.

    I'm so very sorry, Lana.

    ~Shellibill from YouTube

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  20. My goodness, Lana! I'm so sorry that you were treated this way. In those days, there was no place to turn to for help. If your abuser even "thought" you were telling others about their actions, the more severe the abuse became. I totally understand. You became so strong and kind. God bless you, Sweetheart. Hugs,~Marilyn

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  21. Omg! These people were so evil! This is the most disgusting case of child abuse that I have ever read about! I am so sorry this happened to you and your siblings, sweet Lana! Hugs. . .

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